Inge Santoso - Learn & Grow!

Going Up The Mountain, Nissan Juke or Joke?

2012-02-08T14:16:00.000+07:00

Two weeks ago, my friends came from Jakarta to Solo for a short trip. Since one of them has never been to Tawangmangu before, so we stayed in Tawangmangu that weekend. We had a great time having a heart-to-heart sharing about life. It was an enlightening experience for me.

On Monday, before we went back to Solo, I offered to take them for a drive to Cemara Sewu on my Nissan Juke. I just got this car a few months ago and I hadn’t had the chance to try in on steep mountain road. I was curious to see how this good looking car would perform going up the mountain. I was pretty confident that I would be able to take my friends to see beautiful sceneries on top of Cemara Sewu.

After loading our luggage on the car, I took my friends for a scenic drive up the mountain. At the beginning the car rode smoothly, but when we got to the point where the road was very steep and long, no matter how deep I stepped on the accelerator, the Juke could not move forward. I put the car on power mode and pressed the gas pedal to the ground, but the car only moved forward in inches. After a few meters going on like this, we decided to turn back.

In my mind, I was furious. How could this new Nissan Juke not go up Cemara Sewu? It was embarrassing!

When I got back, I complained about this to my Dad. He told my uncle who was very knowledgeable about car to check it out.

Yesterday, my uncle and the mechanic from Nissan took the car for a test drive to Tawangmangu. When they arrived in Karanganyar, they tried to put the car into test and drove it faster. Although it was only a gentle slope, the car just would not run as fast as it should be. They stopped on the side of the road to check. There was no problem with the engine, so they checked the accelerator. When they saw the position of the accelerator, they finally figured it out why the car would not run faster. The accelerator was hindered by the double carpets! When they removed one of the carpets, the accelerator could be pressed down to the ground and the car just ran like the wind!

The carpet was the culprit!

When they told me about this, I was laughing out loud. I could imagine my uncle’s facial expression when they found the culprit! It was so funny!

What can I learn from this?

A trivial thing may cause a big problem, and a big problem may be solved with a simple solution.

In life we are often confronted with problems big or small. When we are faced with big problem, we often assume that we need complicated solutions to solve it…well, not necessarily! Sometimes a simple solution is all we need if we can find the true nature of our problem.

…

Finally, I need not go to Nissan to complain that their Juke is a joke!

Just like the song by Bee Gees “I Started a Joke”…Oh if I’d only seen that the joke was on me!

Learn and Grow!

Inge Santoso, B. Com

Happy Chinese New Year

2012-01-23T12:00:00.000+07:00

This year is the year of water dragon. Since I do not have a photo of a water dragon, I use this photo of red dragonfly perching on a lotus bud. I took this photo in August 2008 at Amanjiwo Hotel, near Borobudur, Indonesia.

Happy Chinese New Year!

May this year bring you good health, luck, prosperity and happiness!

Learn and Grow!

Inge Santoso, B. Com

Living Without Guilt and Regret – Ajahn Brahm, 7th Global Conference on Buddhism, 10-11 December 2011

2011-12-30T12:31:00.001+07:00

This is my notes on Ajahn Brahm’s session entitled “Living Without Guilt and Regret”.

If you want to be a better person, do not feel guilty about things in the past. If you keep on thinking about your mistakes in the past, you become a worse person because you lose self-respect and motivation, and you may become depressed. The mistake of the past becomes ball and chain prohibiting you from achieving success in the future.

If you make a mistake, you should:

admit it or acknowledge it
let it go
learn from it

Adopting from modern psychology technique, if you have done bad things in the past:

Bring it up, acknowledge it by writing it down on a sheet of paper, clearly, neatly and in detail.
Write it on toilet paper!
Read it! Because it is written on toilet paper, you tend to associate what’s written there with sh**… past mistake = sh**
Put it in the toilet bowl and flush…let it go!

Feeling guilty and regret is like putting a used toilet paper in your pocket! If you think putting a used toilet paper in your pocket is a very stupid idea, then keeping feelings of guilt and regret in your mind is just as stupid, so let it go!

Learning from past experience

There is a story about a chicken farmer. As a chicken farmer, every day you deal with eggs and poo. You collect the egg, not the poo. [In Indonesia, they collect the poo for organic fertilizer Hahahaha]

Do you want to remember the poo or the eggs? Of course the eggs! That’s why remember what went right, remember from the success in the past, you will feel good, happy and have motivation to do it right again. You learn more from what’s right than what’s wrong.

We need to change how we look at the past. You can’t re-create the past, so it does not help at all to look back all the time. It is a waste of time to look at the past, just let it go. If you keep looking at the past, then you stop attending to the present! Too many people linger too long in the past and they are not paying attention to the present moment.

If someone call you a pig, you simply let it go, just do not remember it. If you keep repeating it in your mind, then you are letting them to do it to you again and again.

Sometimes people have a belief that if we don’t have regret, we don’t have punishment, and then we will not be deterred from making the same mistake. Well, it does not work that way! What we need is inspiration, to be more compassionate, generous and loving. Those good things work!

Why do we feel guilty? We feel guilty because we do not have enough metta, compassion. We need to treat ourselves with compassion. If I can forgive other people, I can forgive myself.

You can only feel one thing at a time, if you feel guilty, then you are not doing anything useful. If you dwell on guilt or regret, you cannot make progress. If you want progress in life, you have to let the past go.

Sometimes we feel guilty because we felt that we’ve done a bad thing, but then again who know whether it was good or bad? So basically, if you feel guilty, remember good or bad, who knows? Perhaps it was not wrong after all.

Remember that we always do what we think is the right thing to do at that time. We make a decision based on what’s the right thing to do at that time. We do not purposely make a wrong decision or do a wrong thing.

Sometimes we make a bad decision because we use too much rational rather than too much feeling. Remember to follow your heart and not just follow your head. If you are in doubt, do a coin toss. To find out what you really want to do, watch your feelings when the coin goes up in the air. Which side do you wish to come up, the head or the tail? If you wish the head to come up, then you know that what you really want is what the head represents.

End of notes.

As we approach the end of year 2011 and new year 2012, let us apply what we have learned from Ajahn Brahm.

Let’s remember the good times, successes and what we have done right this year. Let go our feelings of guilt, regret, anger and hurt. Learn from our experience but let go the emotional baggage, so what we are ready to fly and soar in the coming year!

May your life be full of love, peace and happiness in year 2012!

May all beings be happy!

Inge Santoso, B. Com

The Saman Dance–7th Global Conference on Buddhism, 10-11 December 2011

2011-12-19T17:08:00.001+07:00

Buddhist Reborn’s Saman Dance

It was awesome to see the Saman Dance performance by Buddhist Reborn. Although it was their first, it was so good. I believe that there will be more performances to come.

May all beings be happy!

Making the Law of Kamma Work in Our Favor – Ajahn Brahmali, 7th Global Conference on Buddhism, 10-11 Dec 2011

2011-12-19T07:43:00.001+07:00

This is my notes on the talk by Ajahn Brahmali. He spoke so fast so I tried to take notes as fast as I could.

What is the law of kamma?

A lot of people often use the word “kamma” or “karma” to describe bad luck or fate. For example, if someone lost his wallet, he would say, “It was my kamma.” It is actually a misunderstanding to describe our kamma simply as our bad luck or fate.

We also often use the word “kamma” to justify other people’s misfortunes. For example, when someone got sick, we would say, “It was his kamma.” If we use it like this, we tend to lose compassion and kindness.

There are a few things that may or may not happen because of what we did in the past, such as:

Weather. Weather changes not because of what we do in the past.
Accidents. If we are born as human, we may have accidents, not due to particular actions in the past. Even death can happen due to accident.
Sickness. Sometimes we are going to be sick. When we go to the doctor, instead of saying that something is wrong, we should say that something is right with us.

When you are born as human being, you can expect suffering, sickness, and problems. We need to understand that there is no alternative, we need to just accept that it’s the way it is. We need to cultivate this kind of thinking.

How to reduce the impact of problems in life?

caring; to be careful and do things the right way
practicing Buddhist teaching

For example: Ajahn Brahmali told a story how people often asked him to bless their new cars. He said that he agreed to bless the car and the blessing would work on one condition, that they would drive carefully.

The simile of the salt.

If we put a spoon of salt in a glass of water, when we drink the water, it will be salty. If we put a spoon of salt in a pond, when we taste water, there will be barely any saltiness. If the salt is our bad kamma and water is our good kamma. If we want kamma to work in our favor, make sure that we increase the amount of good kamma so that the bad kamma becomes a miniscule problem.

May all beings be happy!

Learn and Grow!

Inge Santoso, B. Com

www.ingesantoso.com

Meditation for Working People - Dr Wong Yin Onn, 7th Global Conference of Buddhism, 10-11 Dec 2011

2011-12-16T14:40:00.001+07:00

First of all, I would like to thank Dr Wong Yin Onn for giving me the slides of his presentation. Please note that: the words in [ ] brackets and blue color are my additional notes, thoughts and opinions. I also changed some of the slides order.

Meditation for Working People, also known as Meditation for Non-Meditator.

In this age of multi-tasking, we never do less than two things at once. We read while we eat, and it works because we get things done. We are Control Freaks. But when it comes to calming our mind in meditation we can’t simply because it would require us to sit still, let go and do nothing.

OVERVIEW

The real Buddhism is not books, not manuals, not word for word repetition from the Tipitaka, or it is rites and rituals. The real Buddhism is the practice, by way of body, speech and mind that will destroy the defilements, in part of completely…

Though a person may never have seen or even heard of the Tipitaka, if he carries out detailed investigation every time suffering arises and scorches his mind, he can be said to be studying the Tipitaka directly and far more correctly than people actually in the process of reading it. – Buddhadasa Bhikkhu

The Buddha’s Dhamma was a psycho-ethical outline as well as a practical path for experiencing the truth in day to day life.

It had only one problem and one solution. The one problem is the suffering of mankind and the one solution is the attainment of a state where there is no suffering at all. The path is the three stepped middle path of sila (moral precepts), samadhi (one pointedness) and panna (right understanding).

The Secret to Happiness

Formal meditation helps the mind to rest from its usual state of frenzied thought. It does not make life’s problems disappear, but it gives us a much clearer picture of our problems and to respond rationally with wisdom. [Meditation is not about running away from life’s problems, but meditation helps us to be calm and focus on the solutions]

What should we expect from meditation for working people? What is the desired goal? It is awakening. In more detail, the goal is a step by step improvement in our understanding of life, leading to an improvement in our conduct and having peace, happiness and security as we walk this path.

To walk a spiritual path we need to stay centered and at peace within ourselves. Resistance brings up negative energies of anger, hostility, judgment and fear. It is often preferable to “turn the other cheek” and maintain one’s spiritual composure. Many a times, the suffering is not worth the suffering. [I remember my own experience in meditation. Sometimes my legs felt so painful, yet in my mind, I could choose not to suffer from the pain]

Do you want to be right or do you want peace? We can choose to resist evil, strategizing, worrying, being angry, feeling miserable or we can choose to let go.

Certainly there are situations when we have to dig our heels in and stand up for ourselves. But it is important to weigh the cost of putting up a fight against the gratification of feeling victorious or vindicated. To “Lose” is often to “Win”

MEDITATION INCORPORATED IN DAILY LIFE

Meditation trains our minds, allowing thoughts and emotions to pass across our consciousness without lingering to distract us. It is NOT trying hard to empty our minds; it is a seismic change in the way we see the internal and external world.

It is an endeavor where the harder one tries to “do it”, the harder it is to attain. It is NOT what we do, but what we didn’t do that matters! We do not resist emotions or arising thoughts but merely see it and not be entrapped by it. It is present moment awareness, inspect not expect, letting go!

Besides sitting down, closing the eyes and watching the mind, can we ‘meditate’ while attending to everyday business? How can we make Mindfulness as a Way of Life rather than a practice separate from daily living?

1. Minding the mind

We can all benefit from a greater awareness of how our mind works. Meditation here and now, amid the ups and downs of life. If we want to understand our mind, we have to watch it while it is happy, angry, sad, fearful, etc.

The Dhamma encompasses all aspects of life, it is all inclusive. When watching the mind becomes a constant habit in daily life, the cycle of reacting mindlessly to the external environment is broken.

Formal meditation is important but it even more important to extend it beyond the meditation cushion. It is not postures that lead to enlightenment, though it is useful to help the mind quiet down.

In meditation we learn to realize the impermanent nature of things. Realize that there is a huge difference between “There is suffering” and “I am suffering.” Only when we cease to be involved with our emotions can peaceful equanimity emerge; simply watching the emotions instead of being the emotion. We must constantly remind ourselves that “this too shall pass” and sit and watch as it passes away. As we do so, peace and happiness reveal themselves on their own, like the sun revealing itself from behind the clouds.

To experience peace does not mean that our lives are always blissful. It means that we are capable of tapping into a blissful state of mind amidst the normal chaos of a hectic life. [I have experienced this myself. If you want to read about it, please read here]

To the untrained person, whenever there is a conflict between the rational mind and the emotional mind, the older brain which controls the emotion will win hands down!

Understanding this is very important for those of us who wish to train our minds to be logical and objective, for we are going against the grain of millenniums of evolution. This is why diets fail and men have affairs!

Can we better integrate our three brains? It turns out that meditation integrates the brains. It rewires and harmonizes them. It lets you see through the blandishments of consumerism and much other falsity. Harmonizing one's brain is a slow and patient project. Evolution has not had time to integrate our brains. Meditation is a way of choosing to help evolution reach its moulding hand inside our head. Three brains are swell, but three brains in harmony are bliss.

[If you want to read more about these three brains, go here]

2. Metta meditation while driving

[Dr Wong told the story how he did metta meditation while driving the long stretch between Johor Baru and Kuala Lumpur. We can practice metta while driving, wishing the cars around us “may all beings be happy”, even those fast cars zigzagging past us (they definitely need our best wishes)]

3. The Game Boy

4. A Modern Gong for Present Moment Awareness

[We can make our watch or mobile phone to beep every hour and when we hear the beep, we just pause and watch our mind for a minute or so]

Present moment awareness is “keeping the body and mind in the same place”

5. Walking

If we can walk, then we can meditate. Just walk slowly in a calm, quiet place like a park. Let the mind be at ease, let go and just be aware of our steps as we walk. Be with the steps that we take, living each moment as we experience it. Please note that it is obvious that we should walk only where our personal safely is not in question.

If you are still struggling with thoughts, do not judge yourself harshly. Simply acknowledge that fact and mentally note, “just thoughts, let it go, just thoughts, let it go” until you really do let it go. And if that does not work the first time, then may be the next time, or the next time. Even if you were stuck in a tsunami of thoughts throughout the walk, you had a good exercise.

6. Mindful eating

Pay attention to what we eat. How many times have we savored the first bite or two only to be swept away by thoughts, planning or worrying? Eat a meal in a quiet contemplative state. Don't push away thoughts when they arise, but don’t let them encompass us, either. Notice the taste of the food, its texture and how it makes us feel as we eat it.

7. Mindful talking

Pay attention to what motivates our speech. Most of the time, we’re taking to someone in auto-pilot mode or fight-or-flight mentality. If we stop to look in and understand “why” we’re about to say what we intend to say, it makes it more likely that we’ll speak with kindness and compassion. When mindless, we often let some really painful or thoughtless words slip.

8. Sleep

A wonderful way to meditate is to spend the 5-10 minutes that we spend lying on the bed before falling asleep in meditation. No pillow talk. Just follow the breath going in and out. Just look at the thoughts that arise and fade away. Was it an “in-breath or out-breath” before you fell asleep?

When we make an effort to turn our attention inwards, we are reconditioning ourselves. (Before this we were only looking outwards!) This looking inward can become habitual; a new conditioning where the minds focuses on itself frequently and regularly.

Where is the balance between worldly and spiritual pursuits?

There should be no boundaries between the spiritual life and daily mundane life.

The foundation of all spiritual practice is to let the Dhamma be the GPS of our lives. We learn to let go of our greed, have contentment and gratitude. We keep our precepts. We must earn a living and have righteous wealth but wealth should not be the one and overriding aim of our lives.

In conclusion,

Mindfulness meditation in daily life brings out the best in us. Its right effort whereby we promote only the wholesome and disconnect the unwholesome from transmission.

Meditation doesn't require burning incense or to sit cross-legged. There are many alternatives. We could sit comfortably, stand, walk or lay down. Many forms of meditation are based upon the awareness of breath. Through our practice of the different styles, we will find the one right for ourselves.

Now all that is left to do is set time aside each day to reflect, relax and meditate. By creating a daily practice, we can expect to achieve greater clarity in our lives. You will be amazed by life changing results it offers. [As of today, I’ve practiced meditation for 867 days in a row and I certainly enjoy the benefits of this daily practice]

May all beings be happy!

Learn and Grow!

Inge Santoso, B. Com

Metta Meditation to Overcome Ill-Will by Ajahn Sujato, 7th Global Conference on Buddhism, 10-11 Dec 2011

2011-12-14T17:18:00.001+07:00

Ajahn Sujato opened his talk by sharing about a trending “We Are the 99%” movement in USA. While in Buddhism, it is “We Are the 100%”. It is “may ALL beings be happy,” not “may MOST being be happy.”

Buddhism has the ideal of “may all beings be happy”, but in everyday life, it may seem unattainable. That’s why it is important to practice, little by little, and start where we are.

Some points on metta meditation

Get a feeling of our body. Start where we are.
Have a sense of patience. It is not something you can push. In meditation sometimes the slower, the better it is. It is about to experience now rather than wanting to experience the next.
Recognize the emotion that you are feeling. Whatever it is you are feeling, just notice it. It is not about working out where this feeling comes from. Simply feel…what does anxiety feel like? What does happiness feel like? It is not favoring or opposing, but just watch the emotions.

Metta, loving kindness, is a real feeling. We can catch that feeling and hold it like holding a little bird in our hands. Do not hold it too tight; do not hold it too loose.

When you practice metta meditation, the feeling becomes part of who you are and it will stay with you. The more we practice, the more we know how the mind works.

Guided metta meditation session. First, by feeling the body, then feeling metta inside your body towards:

yourself (may I be happy)
loved person (sometimes it is better not to use family members because you tend to have mixed emotions when it comes to family members) (may loved person be happy)
neutral person (may neutral person be happy)
disliked person (may disliked person be happy)

(If you want a copy of the guided metta meditation by Ajahn Sujato, you can download it here)

May this note be beneficial to you all.

May all beings be happy!

Learn and Grow!

Inge Santoso, B. Com

Applying the Middle Path in a Life Full of Conflicting Demands – Ven. Master Guo Jun, 7th Global Conference on Buddhism, 10-11 Dec 2011

2011-12-14T12:30:00.001+07:00

This is my notes on the presentation by Ven. Master Guo Jun at 7th Global Conference on Buddhism, 10th December 2011.

CONFLICTS

How to solve conflicts in life?

be optimistic? not to be pessimistic
be objective? not to be subjective
be rational? not to be emotional

The practice of middle path is to go beyond subjective and objective because objectivity is made of many subjective parts. Ven. Master Guo Jun gave an example about travelling on the plane. When it was stuffy on a plane and the passengers needed more air, they wanted to open the plane door. Although the passengers thought that they were objective in coming into conclusion to open the door, it was actually a collective of subjective opinions. When the pilot did not agree, one against many, the pilot was seen to have a subjective opinion. The solution is not to be objective or subjective, but to be realistic.

Extreme Middle Path Extreme

Subjective Realistic Objective

Realistic is to go beyond appearances, to look at dependent origination and to look at cause and effect. The practice of the middle path is to go beyond dualities. The Platform Sutra mentions 36 pairs of dualities. There is actually no definite meaning in reality. For example, if your height is 170cm. Is it tall or short? Tall or short compared to whom?

In the core of all disputes, conflicts and disagreements, there is an attitude of “You are wrong. I am right.” People are attached to thinking that they are right.

There are two types of conflicts:

within the self, for example about what to choose, what to do. This type of conflict usually arises because of lack of wisdom.
between self and environment/people. This type of conflict usually arises because of lack of compassion.

Problems arise because we tend to have a lot of compassion when it comes to our own faults, to have a lot of wisdom in seeing other people’s faults.

Extreme Middle Path Extreme

Rational Compassion Feeling

Logic Wisdom Emotion

Being realistic = wisdom + compassion

Being realistic starts with the relaxation of the body and mind.

Relaxation creates calm, clarity, understanding and compassion. It is like the surface of a pond, when the surface is calm then it reflects what is outside, too see something as it is. When the water of the pond becomes calm, impurities start to settle and you can see inside the pond clearly.

Understanding comes from deep listening that results in an open mind (wisdom) and an open heart (compassion). Misunderstanding is often caused by not listening, resulting in conflicts.

The session ended with 10-minute meditation accompanied with music.

May all beings be happy

Learn and Grow!

Inge Santoso, B. Com

Fostering Peace in Multi-religious and Multi-cultural Communities–Ajahn Brahmavamso, 7th Global Conference on Buddhism, Jakarta 10-11 December 2011

2011-12-13T23:04:00.001+07:00

This is my notes on the keynote speech of 7th GCB delivered by Ajahn Brahm. Please remember that it was written based on my personal notes and not a transcript of the speech.

Since the keynote speech was delivered after lunch, the time when many speakers dread to speak, the graveyard shift of conference, Ajahn Brahm appropriately opened his keynote speech with a ghost story. Not only the story captured the participants’ interest, but the moral of the story also set off the topic. The moral of the ghost story was that the people who were buried in cemetery, regardless of their race, religion, age, gender, were able to reside together in harmony. If dead people can do it, can we who are alive do the same?

Is there a solution to inter-religious harmony?

To answer this question, Ajahn Brahm told a story from his book “Opening the Door to Your Heart” entitled The Most Beautiful Sound.

An uneducated old man was visiting a city for the first time in his life. He had grown up in a remote mountain village and now he was enjoying his first visit to his children’s modern homes.

One day, while he was being shown around the city, the old man heard an awful noise. He had never heard such noise and he wanted to find its cause. He found that the grating sound came from a room in the back of a house where a small boy was practicing on a violin. When he was told that it was a “violin”, he decided he never wanted to hear such a horrible thing again.

The next day, in a different part of the city, the old man heard a sound that was enchanting. He also wanted to find its cause. Following the delightful sound back to its source, he came to a room in front of a house where a maestro was performing a sonata on a violin.

At once, the old man realized his mistake. The terrible sound that he had heard the previous day was not the fault of the violin, or even the boy. It was just that the young man had yet to learn his instrument well.

The third day, in a different part of the city, the old man heard another sound that surpassed in its beauty even that of the maestro on her violin. What was that sound that moved the old man’s heart more powerfully than anything before? It was a large orchestra playing a symphony.

It was the same with religion. When we come across a religious enthusiasts causing strife with his beliefs, it is incorrect to blame the religion. It is just that the novice has yet to learn his religion well. When we come across a maestro of her religion, it is such a sweet encounter that it inspires us for many years whatever their beliefs.

When every member of an orchestra was a maestro of their own instrument and they had further learned how to play together in harmony, then it would be the most beautiful sound in the world.

Learn our religion well and let us go further and learn how to play with other religion in harmony together.

Ajahn Brahm continued telling his story about how he was interviewed by a journalist regarding the news of a US marine flushing a Quran down the toilet. The journalist asked, “If someone took Buddhist holy books and flushed them down the toilet, what would you do? Ajahn Brahm answered, “First, I will call a plumber.” The journalist commented that it was the most sensible thing he heard all day. Then Ajahn Brahm continued by saying that you could flush books, destroy statues or vihara, but you could not destroy compassion, forgiveness and peace.

You need to differentiate between the container and the content. Churches, mosques, temples are just container; it’s the content, the people that are important. Buddhist statue is a container, but it is the content such as peace, virtue, compassion and forgiveness that are more important. What’s important is the Dhamma, not the book.

Instead of focusing on the container, remember the content, what Buddha actually teaches: virtue, peace and compassion.

Ajahn Brahm also shared his story about his friendship with a Benedictine monk. Once they had a discussion about what do the Buddhist feel about God. The Benedictine monk said that every human being was always searching for God. Ajahn Brahm said that Buddhists were always in search of truth, compassion, peace and virtue. If every human being was searching for the same thing, then God also meant truth, compassion, peace and virtue. In conclusion, seek what’s in common between religions to live in harmony.

In a nutshell, to foster peace in multi-religious and multi-cultural communities, we need to:

Learn our religion well and learn how to play with other religion in harmony together
Focus on the content instead of focusing on the container
Seek what’s in common

May all beings be happy!

Learn and Grow!

Inge Santoso, B. Com

Practicing What We Have Learned

2011-12-13T08:21:00.001+07:00

(don’t be offended by the photo Mom…smile! hahaha)

My mother and I entered Balai Kartini’s auditorium to attend the last session of 7th Global Conference on Buddhism after afternoon coffee break only to find that our seats had been taken. Although we were told that we were allowed to change seat after each break, most people did not change seats to keep things convenient. It was definitely faster to know exactly where to go when we came back from breaks.

Anyway, when I found that someone had taken my seat, did I think bad or negative thoughts? Yes, I did. Did I feel negative emotions? Yes, I did. Even after listening for Dhamma for almost two days, negative thoughts and feelings still arose.

These were my initial thoughts and feelings:

How dare she take my seat? It was the perfect spot for taking photos. Why did she take mine when there were other seats available on the same row?
Why did she create a disturbance? When she took my seat, I had to take someone else’s seat and it just made everybody on that row feel annoyed and uncomfortable?

What happened after I had these negative thoughts and feelings? What did I do? At first I tried to tell her that it was my previous seat and I would like to sit there again. She said that the MC had told us that it was free to change seat, therefore she decided to do just that. Once again I tried to make her understand that there were five of us in the group and moving one seat actually created an inconvenience not to one person but to five people. She stood her ground citing her right to sit there. Since the session was about to start, I decided to just move to other seats that were available in the middle of the row.

What was happening in my mind while I had that conversation with her? I was actually quite aware of my thoughts and feelings during the whole process. I believe that it is my meditation practice that actually helped me to be aware of the rising thoughts and feelings. Since I was aware of these thoughts and feelings, I could analyze and manage them. When I saw the feeling of annoyance rising, I remembered Ajahn Brahm’s advice not to let anything that happened to destroy our virtue, peace and compassion. I thought changing seat was just a small change, anicca, I would not let it ruin my feeling of peace and happiness. I decided to put what I learned from great speakers of the conference into practice!

In addition to deciding to be peaceful and happy no matter what, I asked myself a question to build up my compassion. The question was: “What else can it mean?” Then I started to think about positive reasons why she moved to my seat. These were some of the reasons that I thought of:

perhaps she wanted to take better photos of the speakers because my seat was really one of the best spot to take photo
perhaps she wanted to have a chance to give respects to the monks by standing in Anjali when they passed the aisle
perhaps she had a stomachache and needed frequent trips to the bathroom
perhaps the people who sat next to her were stinky and she could not stand sitting beside them anymore HAHAHA

Anyway by thinking these thoughts, I started to have a feeling of compassion towards her and the feeling of anger, annoyance disappeared.

At the end, I was actually grateful to have this experience because I had a chance to practice what I have learned and felt the benefit of the practice. I can especially feel the benefit of my meditation practice in a situation like this, such as being aware of my thoughts and feelings, understanding anicca, and letting go.

What would you think, feel or do in a situation like this? Would you have felt angry? Would you still keep the anger and hatred even until now? Once again, remember what Ajahn Brahm taught us: remember what went right instead of what went wrong. Choose to remember the good times of learning Dhamma from great masters during the conference instead of losing one lousy seat!

I hope this story can help you to choose to think, feel and do the right thing when similar situation arises.

May all beings be happy!

Learn and Grow!

Inge Santoso, B. Com

Living Without Fear and Anger – by Ringu Tulku Rinpoche at 7th Global Conference on Buddhism in Jakarta

2011-12-12T14:16:00.001+07:00

On 10-11 December 2011, I attended the 7th Global Conference on Buddhism in Jakarta. The first speaker was Ringu Tulku Rinpoche on the topic of Living Without Fear and Anger.

This is a summary of Ringu Tulku Rinpoche’s talk.

ANGER

The problem with anger is when we are not able to deal with anger. Anger causes destructions and harms not only to myself but to other people. We often keep the anger and hatred in our heart, thus keeping the hurt and eventually harm ourselves. We also have many regrets after we say or do something in uncontrollable anger.

What is anger? Anger is a disturbed peace of mind. It often creates malevolent feelings and brings an aura of unease.

We often react to a situation with the feeling of anger because we don’t know there is an alternative to anger. First, we need to learn to see the purpose of anger. Anger usually arises when we are not satisfied or something was wrong. Second, we need to transform the feeling of anger so that the purpose of anger is served without causing unhappiness to ourselves and others.

Some people say that we need anger to stand up against injustice. When there is injustice, when something is not right, you can have either anger or compassion. What we need to understand is that the emotion of anger and compassion come from a similar source. The difference is how you look at the situation.

If you focus on the person who does the wrong thing, then you have anger. If you focus on the issue, then you have compassion. If we focus on the issue, there is no need to be angry to the people.

Although some say that anger provides energy and power, compassion actually provides more sustainable energy. Anger is like a flare of fire. It flares up, then it’s over and you lose all the energy afterward. On the other hand, since compassion beneficial to everybody, there’s an enthusiasm to keep going, thus creates more sustainable energy in the long run.

How do we deal with anger? We need to see WHY you are angry, find the issue. Then we find solutions to that issue, solutions that can benefit everybody.

Is it easy to deal with anger? No, it is not easy because we have the habit to be angry.

Sometimes people say that we have the right to be angry. Yes, we have the right to be angry, but we need to remember that being angry does not solve anything. Therefore, it is better to focus on the issue and be compassionate.

FEAR

Fear is being afraid that something bad is going to happen. Fear is suffering because even when everything is fine in our lives, fear can still bring unhappiness. For example, although work is not stressing us, but when we have fear and start worrying, then it will bring stress and tension.

We need to remember that worrying does not help us. Nobody says that something will not happen just because we worry about it.

What do we need to do? We need to our best to prevent negative things from happening, but since we cannot be sure that we can change everything, then it is not useful to worry. Worrying does not change anything and it only brings pains. Uncertainty is a natural phenomenon. It is a fact and we need to accept it. Just prepare and do our best!

Since having fear and worrying do not change anything, it is wise to learn how to let go of fear.

Some people say that we need fear to survive, to avoid danger. It is not fear that enables you to survive and avoid danger, it is wisdom!

For example, crossing a road in India.

If you want to be able to cross a road in India, you need to be unafraid. You must be clear in your mind and have the presence of the mind. You don’t panic and you walk slowly across the road. In order to survive crossing the street, you must have wisdom and not fear.

In conclusion,

Not anger, but compassion!

Not fear, but wisdom!

Instead of living with fear and anger…live with wisdom and compassion!

Learn and Grow!

Inge Santoso, B. Com

Update on Prosperity Jars Money Management System

2011-12-07T17:56:00.001+07:00

I learned about Prosperity Jars Money Management System at T. Harv Eker’s Millionaire Mind Intensive Singapore in 2008. You can read on how I began to use this system here.

Since I started the system in 2008, I have adjusted the system to suit my personal needs, but the basic was still the same. When I receive money as an income, I divide it into 6 different accounts:

10% for Financial Freedom Account (FFA)
10% for Long Term Savings for Spending Account and Debt Repayment
10% for Education Account
50% for Necessities Account
10% for Play Account
10% for Give Account

Over the years, I still divide them into 6 different accounts, but I adjusted the percentage for each account. I also put any money left in the necessities account at the end of a month into FFA. In addition, I increase the percentage for Education Account because I tend to spend a lot on training and seminars.

When my Financial Freedom Account started to grow, I began to look into suitable asset allocation. I had investments in mutual funds, property and stock market. I also bought some insurance for protection.

After applying the system consistently for three years, the results were amazing. My personal net worth increased more than 180%! In these three years, I also travel more (India, Alaska & Canada and Macau), give more, and enjoy myself more!

The system really works!

For the system to work, I was required to make some changes in my life, such as:

being more disciplined in applying the system consistently
automate regular savings and investments
tracking expenses in detail using Microsoft Money
changing my spending habits, less impulse buying and utilize what I have for longer period
eating lunch/dinner before shopping for groceries
keeping track of all investments and balancing them at least once every 6 months
rewarding myself for applying the system
many more

It was not easy but it was definitely worth the effort.

If you want to learn or know more, please do not hesitate to contact me. This system has helped me tremendously, I hope I can help you to achieve the same or even better result.

Learn and Grow

Inge Santoso, B. Com

End of Year Evaluation 2011

2011-12-05T12:07:00.001+07:00

Yesterday I did my end-of-year evaluation at Excelso, Solo Square. I tried to write down every good and bad things that I did or happened to me in the year 2011. I wrote down more than 75 things good things and less than 10 bad things. The list was not final because I knew there were more but I just couldn’t remember offhand.

Out of the good things that I did or what happened to me

21% related to spirituality, personal development and learning
17% related to meditation and Bali Usada
15% related to seminar, coaching, teaching
9% related to buying things
8% related to writing
8% related to friendship and connections
6% related to travelling
3% related to financial goals
13% related to random things

The negative things were mostly about wasting time for unimportant things such as watching DVD (hundreds of DVDs), playing Zuma on Facebook, Facebooking, and chatting on Blackberry. Then making many poor choices in the area of health, eating too much, not enough exercise. I hope I can improve and do better in these areas next year.

What am I going to do in the future?

Continue doing the good things that I’ve done
Prioritize and make better choices in the area of weakness
Balance things out

I have not decided the theme for year 2012. Do you have a suggestion for me?

Learn and Grow!

Inge Santoso, B. Com

Can You Grow Beyond Your Talent?

2011-12-02T16:01:00.001+07:00

According to Daniel Coyle in his book The Talent Code – Greatness Isn’t Born, It’s Grown, “Skill is a cellular insulation that wraps neural circuits and that grows in response to certain signals.” The more time and energy are put in the right kind of practice, the more skill can be developed. So it is definitely possible to grow beyond your talent!

If you want to know more stories on how people develop their skills through right practice, I recommend you to read the book.

Now…I want to share my personal story on this topic.

As you may know from my previous post, I started learning meditation in August 2009. A few months after attending my first meditation retreat, Bali Usada Tapa Brata 1, I re-attended it with my mother in October. When we came back from the retreat, my parents and I went to see Mr. T who had a “supernatural” power and had a discussion about meditation. He asked me why I would practice meditation because I did not have a talent for it. I told him that I found meditation to be beneficial for my emotional health. He said that it was true, yet he warned me not to be disappointed if I could not be successful in developing my meditation skill to higher levels. Since I practiced meditation mainly for my health, especially my emotional health, I kept practicing diligently despite his warning.

In 2010, I started attending Bali Usada Tapa Brata 2 and learned a great deal more. I learned to be more adept in developing my harmonious mind, as well as practicing deeper techniques. At the end of the year, I met again with Mr. T. He asked me whether I still practiced meditation. I told him that I practiced every day for about 45-60 minutes with the method I learned in Tapa Brata 2. He told me that I had a good progress. He was wondering who my teacher was because the teacher had to be a good teacher to be able to teach me to achieve this kind of progress. I told him that it was Mr. Merta Ada who taught me. He just nodded and told me to keep going. I supposed he was curious to see how I would turn out.

Just before I went to Tapa Brata 3 this year, I met with him once again. He did not say anything during our discussion, but when I was going to walk to my car, he suddenly told me that I had been successful in my meditation practice. He told me that I should be able to succeed in my later practice if I decided to pursue it. I was actually quite surprised when he told me this because personally I did not feel so much different in my practice between now and two years ago when he told me I had no talent for meditation.

From my story, you can see how you can still be successful although someone said that you had no talent for it. Skill can be learned by the right kind of practice!

I was actually glad when Mr. T told me that I had no talent because if I was successful, it was because of my effort and hard work. For most of my life, since I was at school until now, a lot of people saw my success and often told me that it was due to my talents and my parent’s supports. They rarely said that it was due to my own effort! I felt fortunate to have a lot of supports and talents, but sometimes I longed to be appreciated for my effort.

With meditation, I can finally prove how I can also be successful based on my own effort. I do not say that I have no support because I do have supports from my teachers and meditation friends, yet they can’t do the work for me, only I can sit and meditate!

How much effort did I put into my practice? Since I attended Tapa Brata 1, I have practiced every single day! Until today, it has been 853 days. I attended Tapa Brata 1 twice, Tapa Brata 2 three times and recently Tapa Brata 3. I also attended two meditation retreats with different teachers. No easy feat but well worth the effort!

I want to see how it will be like when I hit 10,000 hours of practice! I still have a long way to go but I certainly enjoy this journey.

I hope this story can inspire you to keep practicing, keep going, keep developing yourself. Other people can say that you have no talent, but if you really want it, you certainly can grow your skill beyond your talent!

Learn and Grow!

Inge Santoso, B. Com

My Meditation Journey - Bali Usada Tapa Brata 3

2011-11-28T21:25:00.001+07:00

835 days had passed since I started my meditation journey by attending Bali Usada Tapa Brata 1 in Cisarua, Indonesia. Now the journey continued by going to Bali Usada Tapa Brata 3 that was held in Baturiti, Bali.

Before starting the course, I was feeling a bit nervous because I heard from earlier attendants that it was quite hard. They said that every sitting was around three hours and there were sittings from 4AM to 9.30 PM. When we arrived at the center, I saw the schedule….Aah it was not that bad! Although there were seven sittings in a day, each sitting lasted maximum 1.5 hours. I was so relieved and my feeling of confidence returned. Yes, I could do 1.5 hours…no sweat! So, to my meditation friends who hesitates to take TB3 because of the length of each sitting, have no fear!

I am not going to bore you with the details about my day-to-day experience during the retreat, but I will tell you more about interesting things that happened, the lesson I learned and my feelings after the retreat.

Frustration

On Day 8, I felt really hard to focus. I couldn’t hold onto my meditation object, the flow of the breath going in and out. I was distracted by the sound of a wall clock going tick tock, tick tock. I tried to focus on the breath, but somehow my breath followed the rhythm of the clock, tick –breathing in, tock – breathing out. I was actually panting instead of having my breath slowing down. I tried to focus back on the natural flow of my breath, but the same thing went on and on. Even when I tried to slow down the breath, my breath still followed the rhythm of the clock, tick-tock-tick – breathing in, tock-tick-tock – breathing out.
During 7PM sitting, I could not stand it anymore. I felt so frustrated and I could feel the rush of anger mixed with despair and hopelessness swelling up in my chest. I got up and I went out of the meditation hall. Even after I went out of the room, I could still hear tick tock tick tock all over the place! I could not hold it anymore, I hastened back to my room and I just cried and cried and cried! After about 5 minutes or so, I started to calm down. I stopped crying and I went down stair to seek Mr. Merta Ada for a consult. I felt so much better about the consultation and he suggested taking down the clock in the meditation hall. The next day I took down the clock and my sitting sessions on Day 9 were so much better.
I found that I was easily influenced, distracted and annoyed by monotone sound like the sound of the clock or metronome. I hope I can train my mind to overcome this obstacle better in the future.

Silly Fear and Quirk

We had a 2-hour break at noon, so I usually tried to rest and sleep until 1.45PM. It was usually raining around these times. I used to enjoy sleeping when it was raining outside, but during the retreat, I had an extreme fear of the rain. I could not sleep well and I often woke up suddenly feeling so worried. I felt as if something bad was going to happen. I think this was caused by past trauma when my house’s ceiling crashed down on top of my work station and library earlier this year. You can read the story about it here.
Another quirk was the need to go to the bathroom over and over again just before going into a sitting period. I could go to the bathroom twice within 5 minutes. Once again, I think it was related to past trauma. You can read about it here.

Being Happy

During the retreat, we were often reminded to be happy. It was more about enjoying the process rather than desiring result. Sometimes it was not easy to be happy when I felt that I could not hold the object, the feeling of stress and frustration often lingered. Fortunately, I often reminded myself about a story called the two-finger smile in Ajahn Brahm’s book where he went to the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror and just smiled. So I just watched myself in the mirror, putting a silly grin on my face for a few seconds before a sitting session. Hahahaha

Another story about being happy actually happened when a sitting session went really bad. It was an early morning session that started at 4.30AM. I just could not concentrate, my mind drifted so often and I might have fallen asleep a few times. I tried to straightened my posture to overcome it, but I couldn’t hold any object for more than 3-4 minutes. After more than 1 hour in this kind of state, I started to feel a sense of despair and I just wanted to give up, open my eyes and ended the session. Then suddenly in 5 or 10 minutes before the session ended, I could simply let go and I felt one of the happiest moment in my life. I felt so happy realizing in my body that I was the one who had the freedom to choose to be happy, no matter what the result was. It did not matter whether I could or could not hold the object, I could still be happy. This feeling of freedom was quite exhilarating until I could not stop smiling that morning.

Peace and Harmony

In my personal experience, the most noticeable difference between TB3 and TB12 was the level of peace and calmness. When the breath started to feel so subtle even disappearing, I felt so peaceful and calm, so serene. It was such a beautiful feeling. I even did not know there could be such feeling of peace because I’ve never experienced it before TB3. The feeling of peace was so expansive, it was like on top of the highest mountain and I could see and feel everything and there was no horizon, no boundary, it was simply unlimited.
I thought this feeling of peace could only be felt during a sitting session, but I was wrong. When I arrived at Jogja airport last Saturday night. There were so many people in the arrival hall because there were 2-3 flights landed almost at the same time. There were only two baggage belts, so a lot of people crowded around the baggage belt, even jostled each other to get their luggage. Somehow, although I was in this kind of situation, my mind was so peaceful. It was calm like a lake water, so tranquil and serene, that even if stones were thrown into the water, it would not have disturbed the stillness of the water. I was actually quite surprised to discover that I was able to feel this state of peace and harmony in the midst of chaos.
All these beautiful feelings were just a tip of the iceberg because I did not even ‘succeed’ in this retreat. I can’t help but wonder if these feelings were wonderful already, what will the bliss feel like? It has to be the most beautiful feeling ever! I hope I have the chance to feel it in my lifetime.

So…
Finally, I want to thank Mr. Merta Ada, Mr. Agus and Mr. Budi for their guidance during the course. I want to thank all my meditation buddies who travelled this TB3 journey together with me…you are all so awesome! I also want to thank everybody who was involved in making this journey possible! Thank you!
To: my meditation friends. If you have the opportunity and the time to do TB3, please do so. It is a wonderful process to go through. The journey may not be smooth, it may be going up or down, but it is definitely a journey worth taking! I hope we can continue this journey together…May all beings be happy!

Learn and Grow!
Inge Santoso, B. Com

Honesty and Money From Beyond The Grave

2011-10-03T14:09:00.000+07:00

Last week was a weird money magnet week for me.

First, at the beginning of the week, there was a friend who asked me to help her invest her money. She was going to transfer the money to me straight away, but I refused, because I had not analyzed her risk profile. I was glad that she would trust me, but it would be unprofessional of me to simply accept that money without any sorts of assessment and agreements.

Second, on Wednesday morning I went to Bank ABC to do some banking transactions. I did some deposits and withdrawals from several accounts for business purposes. I should have received Rp 7,000,000 from the teller at the end of the transactions. After the teller finished doing the transactions, she stood up and gave me back my bank books and deposit slips. Apparently she forgot to give me the Rp 7,000,000 cash, so I asked her about the money. She was embarrassed that she forgot to give me the money, so she started to prepare the cash. I told her that I needed some small denominations too. I wanted some 20,000s, 10,000s and 5,000s. She started to get money out of the drawer, she took out more than 10 bundles of 50,000s and started changing the elastic bands with the paper money bands. While waiting for her to finished changing the bands, I was chatting on my Blackberry 9900. After a while, she asked me to watch her put the money into the counting machine, she took 12 bundles of 50,000s, 3 bundles of 20,000s, 3 bundles of 10,000s and 2 bundles of 5,000. I was quite amazed to see that much money. I only withdrew Rp 7,000,000 and she prepared to give me Rp 70,000,000. I could've said nothing and she would have given me the money! I told her nicely that I only withdrew Rp 7,000,000 not Rp 70,000,000. When I told her that, it was only then that she realized she had made a grave mistake. You should've seen her face, it was a mixture of shock, surprised and relief. She looked like as if she had just woken up from a state of dream or hypnosis and back to reality. She brought all the money back to her desk and started counting correctly this time. While counting, she muttered how glad she was serving me who reminded her of her mistake. She thanked me profusely while giving me the correct amount of money at the end.

I imagined how it would have been like if I had not told the teller and simply took the money. It would be disastrous for her, Rp 63,000,000 was a lot of money. It could've have been the total of three year salary for her. On the other hand, what kind of person I would have become, had I taken that money? I believe that my integrity worth so much more than Rp 63,000,000.

I posted this story on Facebook and one of my friend, Chuang, said:

I imagined if I was in the teller’s position, I would feel so relieved and glad that there was still a good person who was honest to return the money…and since I know that the teller was a person just like me, I would return the money. The value of money decreased with time and could not be taken beyond death, but we can always bring honesty, even to the next life. (Chuang, I translated this the best I could. I hope it meets your expectation hahaha)

I completely agree with what Chuang has said.

Third, the weirdest of all! On Saturday afternoon, I had two missed calls from unknown number, so I called back. A lady answered the phone and I asked her why she called me earlier. These are the conversations:

L: Are you Inge Santoso with hand phone number of 0856xxxxxxx?

I: Yes.

L: I called you because my husband just passed away last week and when I cleaned his desk, I found an envelope with some amount of money in it. Your name and phone number were written on the envelope. Did my husband owe you some money? If he did, I would like to give you the money.

I: I’m sorry. What was your husband name? I don’t think anybody owed me any money.

L: My husband’s name is A.

I: I am sorry, I don’t think I know him. I am sure that he did not owe me anything. You can keep the money.

L: OK, thank you then.

After that phone call, I was thinking…how weird! Even someone who had died wanted to give me money. It was like getting money from complete stranger beyond the grave!

Anyway, I am glad that I could still make the right choice in each situations.

What would you do if you were me? Please write in the comments.

Learn and Grow!

Does the Solution Still Apply?

2011-05-14T08:40:00.001+07:00

Last Saturday, five of my friends and I went to Sizzler Kelapa Gading to have lunch together. After we finished lunch, we wanted to go shopping at Kelapa Gading Mall. Since we were carrying a lot of stuff, we decided to put our things in my car which was parked closest to Sizzler. I told my friend to bring an umbrella from the car because I saw the sky was very cloudy and it was going to rain soon. My friend said no. She said we would only go shopping for a little while. We would’ve finished our shopping before the rain started.

By the time we finished shopping, we saw that it was raining heavily. It was impossible to get to the car without being soaked wet. One of us suggested renting an umbrella to get to the car. Another one suggested to get a driver to pick us up. We argued whether the car was big enough for the six of us with additional child and baby sitter. We started walking towards Mall 3 while discussing the best solution to our problem.

After 15 minutes or so, we finally decided to rent an umbrella to get to the car. When we walked back to Mall 1 and arrived at the door, we saw that the rain had completely stopped! There was no need to rent an umbrella at all.

By the time we reached a decision and had a solution to our problem, the problem had solved itself!

Lessons:

Sometimes we waste so much time and energy discussing, arguing about solutions to our problem, by the time we make a decision, the problem has changed and our solution is not applicable anymore
Sometimes a problem can solved itself if we give it time. Our impatience often creates more complications to a simple problem. It does not mean that we do nothing at all, but we should make our decision with a cool and composed mind.

Learn and Grow!

Life Is Like A Stock Market

2011-03-22T13:43:00.001+07:00

Last Sunday I attended Buddhist Fellowship Indonesia’s “Beautiful Heart and Peaceful Mind” event at Central Park Ballroom, Jakarta. The speakers were two great masters from two Buddhist traditions, Ajahn Brahm and Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche.

In his talk, Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche shared a story about his friend who was a stock trader. He said: “Life is like a stock market.” I kept thinking about this and I would like to share with you what I had contemplated in the last two days.

First, life is like a stock market because it goes up and down. It is changing all the time. Although the stock market index might not change at the end of the day, the movement during the day would be unique to that particular day. As in life, there isn’t a day that is exactly the same.

Imagine if the stock market is flat all the time, then nobody can make any money. Life that is flat will be boring. It is the change that makes every day colorful and interesting. Therefore we should accept, even embrace change if we want to be happy in this life.

Second, life is like a stock market because it is shaped by many conditions. There is no single explanation why something happens; it is usually a combination of things that causes something to happen. In stock market, we can never determine the exact cause why did the price go up or down? There are so many factors that can influence the price of a stock. Since we can never know the exact cause, it is wise to learn to see things as they really are, life as it is.

Third, life is like trading in the stock market, it is full of dissatisfaction. For example, when we think the price is low, we would buy the stock. After we bought the stock, the price went down and we became unhappy because we could not buy at the lowest price. On the other hand, when the price is high, we would sell the stock. After we sold the stock, the price went up and we also become unhappy because we could not sell at the highest price. Either way, there is a chance of disappointment and anguish. Even when we are right and make profit in trading a certain stock, the happiness will not last because we always want more.

What should we do then?

Mingyur Rinpoche gave this advice: “Let go but never give up!” It means that we should try to do our best to create the best condition but do not cling too tightly to the end result.

Like in the stock market, we study the market to our best ability, we make decision to buy or sell to the best of our knowledge, and then the market shows us whether we make profit or loss. Nobody profits all the time and nobody loses all the time.

In life, we also need to do our best. Sometimes we make right decisions, sometimes we make wrong ones. Even when our decision turns to be wrong, we should learn to let go and learn from the experience. Remember that we are not right all the time and we are not wrong all the time.

Learn and Grow!

Inge Santoso, B. Com

Good, Bad? Who Knows!

2011-03-17T14:40:00.001+07:00

On Chinese New Year while everybody else was having fun with family, I was not feeling well. I had a sore throat, headache and my body was feverish. I took a Panadol and sleep, hoping that the next day I would feel better.

The next day, I felt no better. I decided to go and see a doctor in the morning. Since the doctor was only a block away, I just walked there. When I arrived in front of the doctor’s clinic, I saw a “CLOSE” sign hanging in the window. “Aaah more bad news,” I thought.

Since the other doctor only practices in the evening, I decided to stay at home and rest. I was sleeping most of the time, only waking up to eat lunch. I didn’t even do my ritual of reading blogs on my notebook computer that morning because I couldn’t stand the glare from the screen.

That afternoon I was sleeping comfortably accompanied by the sound of heavy rain. The sky was quite dark, the air was cool. I thought, “What a perfect weather to stay at home and sleep!”

Suddenly my sleep was interrupted by the sound of loud crash! I thought, “Oh no…the maid who cleaned the house must have broken my new vase!” I quickly got out of bed to have a look. When I opened my bedroom door, this was what I saw:

The ceiling had collapsed and water was pouring on top of my desk like waterfall. It was basically raining inside my house! Water drenched my computer equipment, my chair, and my books! The collapsed ceiling was all over my work desk. I quickly jumped through all the debris and started pulling the plugs. (It was a dangerous thing to do with all the water flooding the whole area. I had a brief thought about the danger of being electrocuted, but somehow I still decided to do it). After pulling the plugs, I quickly grabbed my notebook bag and other bags from behind the desk. Then I started to worry about my books. Fortunately the design of the bookcase was such that the water couldn’t get in, it just flowed straight down outside the bookcase door.

After the crucial few minutes, the maids and workers came in and they started to help minimizing the damage. Two of the workers went up to check the drain and clear the blocked drainage so that the water stopped pouring inside the house. Everybody else was frantically busy to mop and clean the place. After about one to two hours, we finally finished cleaning the whole place.

While they were mopping the floor, I moved all my gadgets to another room and started to check the damages. Most of them were alright but I still spread them out and let them dry.

I didn’t even bother trying to save my printer, monitor, keyboard and networking equipment on top of the desk because they were really soaked!

What’s worse…I had two guests staying over at my place that night! I was sure that they were quite shocked to see the condition of my place. I was glad when they were very understanding and sympathetic.

The aftermath….

I still went to the doctor that evening. After taking the medicine I felt so much better.

The next day, workers started to fix the ceiling and they worked real fast. Within three days, everything was back to normal.

Almost all of the gadgets and computer equipment work normally, even the monitor works! The printer also works again after a minor service. I thought the toner would be useless after getting drenched in water but they are still usable. The only thing that couldn’t be saved is my logitech dinovo keyboard.

Some afterthoughts:

Being ill that day was actually a good thing because I was home when the incident happened and I could save most of my electronic gadgets and equipment. If I wasn’t home, the maids and workers wouldn’t have known what to do and what to save.
It was a good thing that I was too sick to work because otherwise I could’ve been injured if I was sitting on my desk when the ceiling collapsed. Moreover my notebook would have been on top of my desk and it would have been soaked wet and all my important data during the week lost.
I was able to remain relatively calm during the whole episode. I didn’t feel sad nor upset watching my things got soaked. I believe that it is attributable to my daily meditation practice. I was able to accept that things happened as it was. I was able to focus more on the solutions rather than the problems.

So….

Good, bad? Who knows?

Learn and Grow!

Inge Santoso, B. Com

Doing The Right Thing

2011-03-16T15:14:00.004+07:00

On August 5, 2010 I ordered some books from Amazon.com. I bought five books for USD 95 and the shipping cost was USD 30. The estimated delivery date was September 3, 2010.

By the end of September 2010, I still hadn’t received the books, so I contacted Amazon. They asked me whether I’d like to get a refund or to get the books sent again, this time by expedited shipment. I chose the latter. The new delivery date was November 04, 2010 for the three books that I ordered. The other two books were out of stock and had to be sent separately. They also said that if I had received the original shipment, I should have sent the books back to them.

I actually received the two books that were sent last earlier than the other three books because they sent them by DHL International without additional charge. The other three books I received in December 2010.

That’s not the end of the story…

Last week I received a notification letter from the post office that I had received a package from USA. It turned out to be the five books that were sent in August 2010. Those books finally arrived after more than 6 months.

Now I have two sets of books!

What should I do? I have three options:

Keep the books without telling Amazon that I actually received them
Send the books back to Amazon
Inform Amazon that I received the books and pay for them

If it happened to you, what would you do?

Would you be tempted to take option no 1? Frankly, the thought crossed my mind! I know that it was not the right thing to do, but the temptation was there. It is impossible to prevent the thought from arising in our mind; the most important thing is being aware of the thought and decide what to do with it.

I decided to take option no 3. I informed Amazon.com that I received the books and I’d like to buy them. I asked them to waive the shipping cost and they agreed.

I chose no 3 because I did not want to bear the burden of guilt for not being honest. Although no one else would know if I had decided to take the books, there is one person who will always know, ME! I can’t hide nor run away from myself.

I do not share this story to brag about how virtuous I am, but I want to encourage more people to do the right thing when the situation arises.

Learn and Grow!
Inge Santoso, B. Com

India – A Personal Experience

2010-12-10T12:46:00.001+07:00

Last month I went to India and Nepal with my meditation friends and Buddhist Fellowship Indonesia group. It was a Buddhist pilgrimage so our itinerary was centered on Buddhist holy places in India like Bodhgaya, Sarnath, Kusinara, Sankassya, Rajgir, Nalanda, Vesali, Kapilavatthu and Lumbini in Nepal.

I’ve never been to those places except Lumbini. I went to Lumbini in the year 2000 on a 46-day China-Tibet-Nepal backpacking trip with Beijing school friends. At that time we planned to continue our trip to India, but there was a big flood so we cancelled our trip to India. My journey to India continued a decade later. After 10 years, I finally set foot in India.

Although I was interested in Buddhism, I was not a Buddhist when I went on this pilgrimage. My motivation was to visit India with my meditation friends and hopefully had time to meditate and feel the vibration of those holy places. Therefore, unlike my Buddhist friends who felt inspired, touched and even grieved when we visited Sankassya, Sarnath, Bodhgaya, I did not have any special feelings towards these places. Please do not get me wrong, I did enjoy the journey and I felt happy with the experience, but I just did not feel the connection and I thought that I would feel this way during the entire trip.

Then…something happened.

Kusinara – India

On November 14th, 2010, we visited Kusinara where Buddha attained Parinibbana and he laid to rest between two sala trees. Our group quietly entered the temple and knelt down to pay respect. I also knelt down and put my palms together in front of my chest in anjali position like everybody else. After a while, our tour guide, Ki Ananda started to chant “Namo Tassa Bhagavato Arahato Sammā sambuddhassa” (Honour to Him, the Blessed One, the Worthy One, the fully Enlightened One) I followed his cue and started to chant as well. When I chanted “Namo Tassa Bhagavato Arahato Sammā sambuddhassa” for the third time, suddenly my tears started to flow; I was so overwhelmed by a flood of emotion that I just could not describe. Then when we continued with Tisarana, Buddham saranam gacchāmi, Dhammam saranam gacchāmi, Sangham saranam gacchāmi and so on, I just could not hold myself together, I was sobbing, tears flowed down my face, my breath became very shallow and my body was shaking. At that moment, I remembered something, I remembered a certain feeling, but I really could not describe what it was. I could not remember a specific memory from the past but I knew in my heart it was true and real. I felt that I have found something very precious to me and somehow a faith arisen.

This trip to India has a significant and precious meaning for me and hopefully my BFI friends also have theirs.

May All Beings Be Happy

Inge Santoso, B. Com

Do Positive Feelings Improve Results?

2010-06-08T13:00:00.001+07:00

Yesterday I was trying to help my university students to identify their feelings towards learning Chinese language. I asked them to write 10 different feelings they associated with learning Chinese as fast as they can. I also asked them to write two or three reasons for each feeling.

The three dominant feelings are proud, stressed and confused. Learning a second or third language, especially Chinese is not easy, so it is understandable that they often feel confused. Most of them feel stressed due to the number of Chinese characters that they have to memorize. Despite the difficulties in learning Chinese, they feel proud because they are seen as being able to take on a ‘hard’ subject. A lot of people perceive them as smart and they receive a lot of praise.

One thing that drew my attention was how their feelings towards learning Chinese influenced their performance in class.

There are two classes, Class A and B, with 17-18 students per class. When I tallied the feelings for each class, I found that in Class A, the students have more negative than positive feelings towards learning Chinese. While in Class B, they have more positive feelings than negative ones. Perhaps it is one of the reasons why Class B consistently outperforms Class A.

Does it mean that if we want to be better in something, then we need to have more positive feelings toward it?

Please share in the comments about what you think.

Learn and Grow

Inge Santoso, B. Com

How We Get Our Belief System and Values

2010-06-04T06:18:00.001+07:00

Yesterday when I had breakfast at Diamond Restaurant, Solo, Indonesia, I overheard a family having a conversation with the restaurant manager. The family consisted of a father, a mother and a teenage boy; I assumed he was in high school. The conversation roughly went like this:

The manager asked the boy, “Hi. At this age, learning to speak English is very important. Don’t you want to go overseas to study?”

The boy didn’t say a word, but the father answered, “He does not need to go overseas to study. I think Indonesian Universities are good enough. Anyway what’s the point studying overseas if after graduation he still has to come back here and continue the family business?”

The manager said, “There are many advantages of studying overseas. First, you can speak English well. Second, you can meet a lot of people from different countries and have friends from all over the world. Having a lot of contacts can help you expand your business”

The father again said, “Well, I can’t speak English, yet my business is doing well.”

The manager asked, “Sir, don’t you want to expand your business?”

The father answered, “No, I don’t want to expand anymore. I’ve been offered to expand by several of my business partners but I refused. What I have is enough.”

The manager said, “Sir, this is the first time that when I asked that question, the answer is ‘no’. Other people usually answered ‘yes’ when I asked them whether they wanted to expand their business.”

When the food came, the manager left after thanking them for the conversation.

The father continued to ramble about the futility of having the children studying overseas. He even said, “What’s the point if he has an overseas education if I am bankrupt and he has no capital to start a business? Perhaps sending him study overseas makes me bankrupt!”

The mother said, “Don’t speak like that. It is not good to speak about bankruptcy or negative things.”

The father told the mother, “You don’t know anything. I don’t care; I talk what I want to talk about.”

During this conversation, the boy was just nodding his head, agreeing to what the father was saying. The mother looked a bit disturbed because she seemed to want the best for her son.

I know that it is not my place to judge, but the conversation made me feel concerned, especially when I saw the boy kept nodding to what the father was saying. He was agreeing to what the father was saying, taking the father’s belief system and values without realizing or even examining them. Perhaps he even thought the father’s negative attitude was not negative at all.

What I witnessed yesterday is how most people get their belief system and values. They get their beliefs system and values from people who are closest to them, mostly parents, other family members, teachers, coaches or other influential people in their environment.

We rarely question or evaluate what they tell us, we just accept them as truth because that’s what we are taught to do since we are young. We see our parents, our teachers as the ultimate authority, they are ALWAYS RIGHT. There lies the problem, they are NOT ALWAYS RIGHT. That’s why we may need to go back and evaluate whether our belief system and values are helping or hindering us in life.

Lessons:

Don’t just believe everything you hear, see, or even what you think and feel. Examine them again; you may see them differently from different perspectives.
Listen more closely to what other people are saying to discover their belief system and values. You may discover interesting things in the process.

Please share with me in the comments if you have similar experiences as above or even how you changed your belief systems and values after something happened in your life that shattered your beliefs.

Learn and Grow!

Inge Santoso, B.Com

My Meditation Journey Continues… Bali Usada Tapa Brata 2

2010-04-22T13:12:00.001+07:00

Happy faces after finishing Bali Usada Tapa Brata 2 in Tawangmangu. The course was held for 12 days from 30 March 2010 to 10 April 2010.

This 12 day Bali Usada Tapa Brata 2 course can really transform how you use your mind. The main objective is to train your mind to become a skillful harmonious mind that can be used to proactively heal and maintain good physical, mental and emotional health.

Before attending Tapa Brata 2, I’ve attended Bali Usada Tapa Brata 1 course twice in the last 9 months and I found them very beneficial for my health, especially for my emotional well being. After attending Tapa Brata 1, I feel more relaxed and calm. I become more aware of my feelings and emotions thus I am able to control my emotion better than before.

I used to struggle a lot with the feeling of anger. Before attending Bali Usada Tapa Brata 1, whenever I got angry, other people suffered. After attending Tapa Brata 1, whenever I got angry, I suffered the most. Why? Whenever I was angry, now I could feel my body was burning inside, it felt so hot. I could feel wild energy shooting here and there attacking my inner organs, very uncomfortable! No wonder wise people say that anger is harmful for your health. After that experience, whenever I feel the emotion of anger rising, I do my best to be aware of it, let it go and never let anger run its course.

I’ve been meditating every day since I attended Bali Usada Tapa Brata 1. I usually meditate 45-60 minutes a day. Sometimes I meditated for 90 minutes because I wanted to prepare myself to attend Tapa Brata 2. I heard from previous participants of Tapa Brata 2 that it was very challenging.

How did I feel about the course? It was tiring mentally, physically and emotionally. It was definitely a very demanding course in terms of mind training. I’ve never used my mind as intensive as this before. I’ve attended many seminars and programs by Anthony Robbins, T Harv Eker, Silva Method and many others and none of those programs can beat Bali Usada Tapa Brata 2 in terms of mind training.

I thought attending Anthony Robbins’ Date with Destiny was demanding because the seminars went well into the night and we jumped, we screamed, we danced, we did a lot of things there, yet I felt more tired just by sitting and concentrating my mind during TB2.

During the course, I felt many different kinds of sensations, feelings and emotions. Sometimes I remembered things in the past so clearly, I felt that I was there. Sometimes I was even astonished to discover my own subconscious thoughts. It was a very interesting experience!

Although I found the course to be very challenging, it was well worth it. I definitely recommend this course for anyone who wants to transform their mind and life to a whole new level. The transformation is not superficial as I have experienced after attending other courses, it is a real transformation. Once you’ve experienced it, you would know it in your heart.

A bit of warning:

I recommend for anyone who is interested in attending Tapa Brata 2 to at least attend Tapa Brata 1 twice and meditate regularly at home for about 60 minutes every day.

After finishing the course, sometimes there may be some bad reactions lingering for a few days. Do not worry, just keep meditating and it will balance itself.

Finally I want to thank Mr. Merta Ada and his assistants, Mr. Suardika, Mr. Budi Waluyo, Mr. Sutedjo who made the course possible. Thank you for your guidance and support. I also want to thank you my dear father, Mr. Djoko Santiko who allowed us to use the villa in Tawangmangu to hold the course. Last but not least, I want to thank you all my friends who attended the course together, Joseph, Hijau Berlian, Wulan, Tining, Jenny, Juniar, and Cha Cha. Thank you for the friendship, love, and support so that we could successfully finish the course. I hope we have an opportunity to attend another course together again.

May all beings be happy!

Learn and grow,

Inge Santoso, B. Com

The Tallest Building in the World in 2010

2010-01-09T06:45:00.001+07:00

Burj Dubai is currently the tallest building in the world at over 800m tall. I had a chance to take this photo when I visited Dubai on Dec 26, 2009. If I visit Dubai again in the future, I’ll go to the observation deck on level 124, then I can tick off my life goal of going to the tallest building in the world.

Learn and Grow

I Took The Wrong Bag – We All Make Mistakes

2009-10-30T10:23:00.001+07:00

Yesterday my friend and I flew from Solo to Jakarta. We brought four luggage with us, one of them was the samsonite bag pictured above. While we were waiting for our luggage to come out, we were discussing about passengers who turned on their mobile phones on the plane. Then we saw our bags coming out, so we quickly took them and put them on the trolley. I prepared my luggage tags just in case they asked to see them before leaving the airport. As it happened, no one was there to check the luggage tag, so we just went out to get a taxi. I loaded the bags to the trunk of the taxi and we left the airport.

About 10 minutes after we left the airport by taxi, I received a call from an airport ground staff. He asked me whether I arrived by GA 221 from Solo this morning. I said yes. Then he asked whether I got all my bags because he found my samsonite bag. I confidently said that I’d got everything, I’d taken all my four bags. He asked me to stop and check because I might have taken somebody’s else bag by mistake. I insisted that I couldn’t have mistakenly taken the wrong bag but I asked the driver to stop and check anyway. When I opened the trunk and saw the bag…Aaah the samsonite bag in the trunk was definitely not blue, it was black!! It was not mine! I took the wrong bag!

I told the taxi driver to drive back to the airport to return the bag and get my own bag. This mistake cost me more than Rp.100,000 in taxi fare because we had to exit the highway, turn back and re-enter the highway to the airport.

It was the first time it ever happened to me and hopefully there won’t be a second time.

It was quite amazing how two set of eyes could get it wrong, then by chance there was no one to check the tags as we went out. One other thing, that bag also had the same broken wheels. Coincidence? I don’t think so. I do not believe in coincidence. Thinking positively about this incident, perhaps the taxi driver needed more money and we had helped him out. There were so many possibilities and I’d rather see this as a part of a master plan and something good has come out of it.

Lessons to learn:

Do not be arrogant. Mistakes can happen to anyone. We all make mistakes one time or another.
As we go through life, from one experience to the next, there is always a first time for everything. It is just part of life.
Next time, ALWAYS check twice that I get the right bag hahaha

Learn and Grow!

Inge Santoso, B.Com

Blog Action Day – Climate Change

2009-10-15T13:31:00.001+07:00

This year Blog Action Day is about climate change.

I live in Solo, Indonesia. I definitely can feel the climate change. In the last few months, the weather was unusually hot. The sun is so bright so that whenever I am outside for too long, I get migraines. The heat of the sun stings my skin. The hot and humid air makes breathing uncomfortable. The effect of global warming can really be felt for real here.

In Indonesia, we used to have a saying that any months ending with “ber” such as September, October, November and December means wet weather with a lot of rain. This year, September has passed without even one drop of rain. This October, I only witnessed three or four days of light rain.

I try to do my part to reduce my carbon emission and global warming by doing a few things such as:

Conserving water by taking quicker shower, turning off tap while brushing my teeth.
Becoming a vegetarian (today is my 18th day). I am not a pure vegetarian yet, but I am on my way there.
Raising awareness about global warming and climate change in classes that I teach
Reducing the usage of air-con. Instead of using air-con, I use a fan to improve air-circulation and cool the room
and other things

From the things that I try to do, the hardest thing is becoming a vegetarian. There are a lot of challenges such as overcoming temptations, adjusting social activities with my friends and getting used to other people’s reaction when I tell them that I don’t eat meat anymore. The last time I went vegan, it was in 2005. It lasted only for 54 days and it was really a struggle for me. This time around, I find it easier to overcome temptations because I’ve been practicing my mind through meditation.

I am only one person. I may not be able to do much, but I hope this Blog Action Day post may raise the awareness about climate change.

My dear readers, I hope not only you are aware of this climate change but you will take action – no matter how small, so that together we can make a difference and save our planet.

Learn and Grow!

Inge Santoso

Memories from the Past – My Meditation Journey

2009-08-18T15:17:00.001+07:00

From August 2nd to 8th, I was attending Bali Usada’s Usada Tapa Brata 1 for one full week. It was a health meditation program. For more information about the program:

A seven-day intensive course where participants are requested to leave all the daily routine to stay isolated from outside world under the Tri-Tapa rules: no talking, no reading, and no writing.

A training to build up concentration, an exercise to develop awareness and mindfulness to strengthen harmonious mind and loving kindness.

You will be trained to understand the healing process through harmonious mind.This meditation is for beginners, also for those having completed the Usada Regular/ Private I.

I was quite proud of myself for being able to follow the Tri-Tapa rules of not talking, reading nor writing during the course. On top of those three rules, we were only provided with two vegetarian meals and one snack a day. At the beginning of the course I was not sure that I would be able to do it, but it became easier with each passing day. At the end of the course, I actually enjoyed it so much and I was reluctant to talk because talking and hearing loud noises gave me headache.

Out of 46 participants, only five of us really adhered to the rules. I was glad that my roommate was also very committed to the rules, otherwise I might not be able to succeed. It shows how important it is to have supportive people around us in order to succeed.

The most amazing thing that happened to me during this course was uncovering a memory buried so deep in my subconscious mind, a memory that I didn’t remember having, yet it surfaced during the course.

This is the story…

On the fourth day when we started to meditate with a purpose of feeling our own body, I felt a pain on my back. It felt like being cut and stabbed with a sword or a saber, it was about 25cm long and located on the left of my spine. When I focused on the pain, it throbbed and became more painful, but the pain was gone when I finished a session. If I didn’t meditate, I felt no pain, but whenever I started meditating, the pain came back.

I was curious and when I asked the instructor, he told me to keep focusing on the pain. During meditation, I kept focusing on the pain and the more I focused, the pain became smaller until it felt like a small dot next to my spine. Although it became smaller, it also became more painful and unbearable. I felt like being shot or stabbed, it was hot and throbbing. Yet when I finished meditating, I could not feel the pain at all.

During the open meditation session, I was committed to really focus on it and I resolved to meditate until I found the cause of the pain. So I did. I focused, focused and focused on that one extremely painful dot until suddenly I saw in my mind, pictures of my grandmother and me when I was just a baby. I saw her holding me as well as sitting next to my baby crib. I must have been less than a year old because my grandmother passed away in 1977 when I was only one year old. I could feel how she poured her love, her hope and her dream to me. I felt a flood of emotions rushing through me, emotions of love, gentleness, kindness and hope as well as hate, anger and unwillingness to let go. When I felt all these emotions, I could not stop the tears from flowing, I just cried and cried until I could not breathe through my nose.

At that moment I could really feel her love, how she put her hopes and dreams into me…she wanted to leave a legacy through me. Suddenly I understood why I was so driven to make a difference and to leave a legacy. It was not only my desire but it was also my grandmother’s desire that she passed to me before she died.

On the other hand, I also felt her anger, hate, attachment and unwillingness to let go. I could understand her feelings because I would be the only grandchild that she would be able to see and hold because of her illness. She was not ready to let go and I could feel those emotions flooding through my heart.

After all those feelings and memories came rushing through me, I felt a sense of relief, calm and clear-headedness. Suddenly everything seemed to make sense and I understood my life. I felt at peace with a part of me that I didn’t realize I had. It was such a wonderful feeling.

At the end of the course, I was asked to share my experience in front of the class. I did not share this story because I had not verify it with my parents. Therefore when I met my parents a day later in Jakarta, I asked them whether those memories were true and those things really happened. They said that those memories were true and real. Wow…it was simply amazing! Consciously I had no memory of what happened when I was just a baby, but meditation helped me to remember something buried so deep in my subconscious mind.

One more thing, after those memories surfaced, the pain on my back was almost gone. The pain was completely gone after I told my father this story. Believe it or not, it was like my grandmother wanted me to pass a message to my father.

How do I feel after all this? I feel at peace. I feel so calm, serene. I feel that I know and understand myself better. I feel a sense of relief, a burden lifted. I feel happy.

Finally, I really recommend all of you to take this course. I’d say that this is one of the best courses that I have attended in my whole life and I’ve attended a lot…from Anthony Robbins’ Unleash the Power Within and Date with Destiny to T. Harv Eker’s courses, as well as numerous trainings and seminars held in Singapore and Indonesia for the last 18 years.

I would like to end this post with what the founder of Bali Usada, Mr. Merta Ada often says at the end of a meditation session:

“May all beings be happy!”

Inge Santoso, B. Com

Five Rules of Happiness

2009-07-28T17:32:00.001+07:00

I got these five rules of happiness from a book by Jose Silva and Burt Goldman “Silva Mind Control Method of Mental Dynamics”.

Five rules of happiness:

If you like a thing, enjoy it.
If you don’t like a thing, avoid it.
If you don’t like a thing and you cannot avoid it, change it.
If you don’t like a thing, cannot avoid it, and cannot or will not change it, accept it.
You accept a thing by changing your attitude towards it.

If you like a thing, enjoy it. It sounds simple, but sometimes it is one of the hardest things to do. I think it is about being present, fully aware about what you are doing and enjoy every moment of it. For me, it is enjoying a cup of coffee mocha in the morning, reading a good book or writing journal.

If you don’t like a thing, avoid it. If you don’t like a thing and you can avoid it, just avoid it. It is something under your control, but sometimes it also requires courage to say no. For example, if you do not like clubbing and your friends ask you to go, just say no.

If you don’t like a thing and you cannot avoid it, change it. If you do not like something and you are the one who needs to do it, then change it. For example, if someone is overweight and there is no one else who can shed the weight except that person, then change it through better eating habits and doing exercises.

If you don’t like a thing, cannot avoid it, and cannot or will not change it, accept it. You accept a thing by changing your attitude towards it. An excellent example for rule no 4 and 5 is my previous post The Value of Rp. 300,000. I didn’t like to pay that Rp300,000, I couldn’t avoid it because I’ve taken the test, I couldn’t change it, so I accepted it. I accepted it by changing my attitude and perception. Instead of looking at it as a loss, I am now able to see it as a valuable lesson and a great learning experience. By changing my attitude, my perception, I feel happier.

Learn and Grow!

The Value of Rp.300,000

2009-07-27T16:43:00.001+07:00

On Saturday I was informed that there would be an examination entrance for Mandarin Course from a university in Guang Zhou, China on Sunday. Since I didn’t have time to prepare and I was not too interested in taking the course, I didn’t want to go but I also felt guilty if I didn’t show up. Finally I decided to go there just to say in person that I did not want to take the exam. When I got there, I met a friend and she asked me to take the exam. She also told me that it was not expensive, only Rp. 30,000 (USD 3). I thought, if it’s only USD 3, then I’d take the exam to accompany her.

There were three papers. The first paper was quite easy. It had some vocabulary, grammar and short answer. The second paper was mostly about geography, history and culture. I could not do the second paper at all because I knew almost nothing on these subjects. Apparently the other people who did the exam already had some material to study on these subjects so they were quite prepared. The third paper was writing composition. One of the topics was “My Unforgettable Friend” and we were supposed to write 500-800 words. I wrote about 200-300 words.

While I was writing the composition, the exam supervisor asked us to pay for the examination fee. She said it was Rp. 300,000 (USD 30)!!! My reaction was WHHHHAAAATTTTT?????? Three hundred thousand?? Not thirty thousand?? If I were to describe my feeling at that moment, it was anger, regret, guilt, all mixed together. The most dominant emotion was anger at myself! The little voice in my head kept saying, "Stupid! Why didn’t you just stick to your goal in the first place? Why did you do that exam? Why did you let your friend drag you into doing it? It was your fault! You brought this on yourself!”

At the height of my negative emotions, my intelligence started to drop. I said stupid things in that room that I later regret. I asked whether I could withdraw, but the supervisor said I already did the exam and there was no refund. Finally, I took Rp. 300,000 out of my wallet and put the money under the paper and I simply walked out of the room.

After those feelings subsided and my intelligence came back up, I was able to think more clearly. I started to have a feeling of regret for saying those stupid things in class. I also felt regret for being disrespectful to those older teachers in the classroom by walking out of the room like that. Then I started to ask myself better questions and I got better answers.

Question: What can I learn from this?

I learned that I value exchanging money for something of value and I do not like to waste it. Although Rp.300,000 was not a big amount for me, I felt I had wasted that money for nothing. I do not mind paying a high price for something that I value, but I do not want to waste even a small amount for nothing.
It is true that when emotion goes up, intelligence goes down. It’s better to say nothing and do nothing rather than regretting it later.
I learned that asking “What can I learn from this?” or “What good things come out of this?” really help me to feel better. The first time I learned to ask these questions was from Anthony Robbins, then from Blair Singer. I’ve taught this method to other people but I’ve never truly felt how effective it is until now. Now I am convinced that this method really helps me to get rid of those feelings of guilt/regret/hurt that I often feel. I also feel a sense of courage and optimism because I have a powerful weapon to face my fear of failure. It is not failure but a learning experience. I’ve heard a lot of people say those words in many books and seminars, but now I finally have it imprinted in my heart and mind.
I learned that I want to feel a sense of calm and peace no matter what happens. I believe that this feeling of peace can only come from faith in God and trust that everything happens for a reason and it is always for good.
I learned that when you choose and decide to do something, accept the consequences. If it is good, be glad. If it is not so good, learn from it.

At the end, I felt that I had not wasted Rp. 300,000 at all. I learned so many valuable lessons from this experience. Not only I have deeper understanding about myself, I also have a new conviction. It is really worth it!

Learn and Grow!

Inge Santoso, B.Com

Some Lessons from My Car’s Dead Battery Incident

2009-07-25T08:45:00.001+07:00

Last night I went to attend Mandiri Prioritas Customer Gathering. I learned a lot from the market update and asset allocation presentation. I really enjoyed the chance to network and meet new people yesterday. Everything was great until it was time to go home.

When I got into my car and started the engine…Aaaah I could not get it to start. The battery was completely dead! There was no warning whatsoever because when I started the car a few hours before, there was no sign that the battery had weakened. There I was, in the dark parking lot by myself.

I called home and dad came to pick me up (thank you my dear dad). He also called two drivers from the factory to bring another car and jumper cables. When they arrived 15 minutes later, everything went smoothly. We jumped start the car and the driver brought it back to the factory, while I came home with dad.

Today I have the battery replaced and life should be back to normal.

Lessons:

Sometimes there is no warning so always be prepared for emergency. Today I’ll buy jumper cables and put them in my trunk.
Do not panic. It helps in finding a solution to your problem. I did not panic because I knew that help was near.
It’s wonderful to have friends who care. When I posted my car trouble in Facebook, a lot of friends expressed their concerns and even offered to help.

PS. I dreamed of having a car accident a few days ago, but I was alright. I don’t know whether the dream was a warning for me or because I thought about the dream, then it came true. What do you think?

Learn and Grow!

Pay Insurance Premium Monthly and Get Double Protection

2009-07-17T18:33:00.001+07:00

A few days ago I attended an interesting presentation from an insurance company (Sequislife Indonesia). Some details of the illustration:

The sum assured for life insurance is Rp.100,000,000 (USD 10,000) and there is an additional investment in mutual fund managed by Schroder. It is assumed that the return of the investment is around 17% a year.
There is also a health coverage for critical illness, hospital expenses up to Rp.220,000,000 per year.
The annual premium is Rp.15,000,000 (around USD 1,500)
The payment premium period is 8 years

Although it is a very good program, the considerably high annual premium payment may deter some people to take this program. The insurance company offers a monthly payment program but there is better alternative.

The solution is to use an automatic saving plan offered by some banks. In this case, I’ll use Mandiri Tabungan Rencana (MTR) offered by Bank Mandiri. Some details of MTR:

The minimum term is one year (it can be up to 20 years)
The minimum monthly saving is Rp.100,000 (USD 10)
The interest is 0.5% higher than the bank saving rate. At the time of writing, the interest is 4.25% p.a
There is an insurance coverage from PT AJ Manulife up to Rp.5,000,000 (USD 500) per month in case of death or total permanent disability. The insurance premium is basically free because it is paid by the Bank.

How can you use this?

If you decide to take the program illustrated above this month, you need to pay the first annual payment, Rp.15,000,000 in full.
In the same month, open an account in Bank Mandiri and start an MTR program.
Choose one year term and monthly saving of Rp.1,250,000. It will be automatically debited from your account every month so you do not need to worry about missing any payments.
At the end of the one year term, use the collected amount of Rp.15,000,000 to pay for the insurance premium.
Repeat Step 3

What are the benefits of using this method?

Pay monthly instead of annually
Get additional protection for free
Earn interest on your monthly saving that’s even higher than the interest in regular saving account

You may be able to use this method with any insurance company or banks of your choosing that may offer similar programs. Please check thoroughly with your insurance company or bank before making any decision.

Learn and Grow!

Disclaimer:

All information provided on this site is for informational purposes only. This blog post is not meant as a financial advice. I’m only sharing my experience.

Afformations – Asking Empowering Questions to Change Your Life

2009-07-15T08:49:00.000+07:00

I’ve been reading the book “The Secret Code of Success: 7 Hidden Steps to More Wealth and Happiness” by Noah St. John. I want to share with you the first step to success, that is using afformations instead of affirmations.

An affirmation is a statement of something you want to achieve or to be true in your life. For example: “I am rich”, “I am happy”, “I am smart”, etc.

As Noah did, I’ve also been doing affirmations, declarations, and autosuggestions for years. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t work. After reading Noah’s book, I understand why sometimes the affirmations did not work, it was because I’d been saying those statements that I did not believe in. For example, when I affirm “I am thin, I am thin, I am thin” – inside my head there is a little voice saying: “Yeah, right!”, “B.S”, “When were you ever thin?” Hahaha. No matter how many times I repeat the same statement, that little voice keeps me from believing that statement.

Fortunately there is a better way! Instead of using statements to change our lives, we can use QUESTIONS to do it.

We think by asking question and answering the questions. The way we think is like putting a question to a search engine in a computer and the computer gives us answer after searching its database. Whatever questions we ask, our mind will give us the answers. That’s why it is so important to ask empowering questions instead of disempowering questions.

Afformation is about asking empowering question instead of disempowering ones.

Four steps to create afformation that can change your life:

Ask yourself what you want.
Form a question that assumes that What You Want is already true
Let your mind search for the answer
Take new actions based on your new assumptions about life

Some examples of afformations:

Why am I so happy?
Why am I so wealthy and rich?
Why am I good enough?
Why am I so smart?
Why do I have the courage to do what I love?
Why do I enjoy so much success?
Why am I so blessed with such a wonderful and happy family?
Why am I so lucky to find my soul mate so quickly?
Why am I beautiful and attractive?
Why am I living a purpose-driven life?

How will you know when it’s working? - Try it and see what happens!

I’ve been doing afformations for a week now, I feel happier and more grateful about many things in my life. I’ll share more after I do this for at least a month.

Since we are already asking questions to ourselves all the time anyway, I am asking you to try afformations (asking empowering questions) and share your experience in the comments.

Learn and Grow!

Inge Santoso, B. Com

Michael Jackson 1958-2009

2009-07-09T09:49:00.001+07:00

After watching Michael Jackson’s daughter, Paris spoke at the memorial, I felt so touched. It was very moving.

I’ve been listening to his music in the last few days. My favorite songs are:

Heal the World
We Are the World
You Are Not Alone
I’ll Be There
One Day in Your Life
Childhood
Will You Be There
Ben
Gone Too Soon
Man in The Mirror
Black or White

Although he had his weaknesses, we can’t deny his impact in this world. His music, his songs, his moves have inspired numerous people all over the world. Michael Jackson was definitely one of the best entertainers, performers in the world. Michael Jackson always gave his best when it came to his performance on stage. I felt grief and loss…I’ve never felt this way with any other celebrities.

I remembered when I attended his HIStory concert in Perth. It was awesome! I’ll never forget that experience. The effects was awesome and his attention to details made all the difference.

What resonates with me is how he had made a huge difference in the world through his music. He left a legacy, something to remember even after his death. When he died, the world cried. How can I live my life so that I have even just a fraction of that kind of impact?

Friends, you are not alone because I’ll be there. Remember that we are the world! Let’s heal the world and make it a better place. Let’s hope that one day in your life, you’ll face the man in the mirror with smile knowing that you’ve made a difference.

Michael Jackson – thank you for the inspiration and may you Rest in Peace.

Learn and Grow!

Earthrise on Earth Day

2009-04-22T05:30:00.000+07:00

We’ve seen numerous sunrises and sunsets on Earth.

Today let’s see the Earth from a different perspective. The above video is earthrise seen from the moon.

How did you feel when you saw the video?

Looking at Earth from this perspective makes me realize how small, how tiny we are. We are all small dots. I am a tiny dot. Yet as small dots, we play a big role in our Earth’s survival. What have you done today to help our Earth?

In my opinion, before we are citizens of countries, we are citizens of the planet Earth. Just like President Kennedy said, “Ask not what your country can do for you--ask what you can do for your country.” I would like to say, “Ask not what Earth can give you – ask what you can give to your Earth.”

Learn and Grow!

Live The Life You Are Meant to Live

2009-04-21T12:10:00.001+07:00

Last week, I attended Train The Trainer in Singapore. This program is part of T Harv Eker’s programs. This Train The Trainer program is delivered by Blair Singer. This is one of the best trainings I’ve ever attended in the last 18 years.

This training has improved my training skill significantly. I have been a good trainer, but this course has put me in the path of becoming an awesome trainer.

Since I attended my first life changing seminar, More Precious Than Gold (MPTG) Seminar in 1991, I have always wanted to become a trainer. When I was mentored by KG Lim to become a trainer in 2001, it was a dream come true for me. When I became one of the trainers for More Precious Than Gold seminar from 2001-2005, that was the best time in my life. I was living my dream – I felt that I’ve made a difference in the lives of thousands of people all over Indonesia.

Due to unfortunate course of events, I could not stay with the MPTG team anymore. I felt devastated. I felt that I lost something so precious in my life. Although I’ve conducted many great seminars since 2005 until now, MPTG still has a special place in my heart, it’s like my first love. Sometimes I wonder whether I would ever get over it.

Everything in life happened for a reason!

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

In Train the Trainer, it becomes very clear to me that my life calling, my life purpose is to teach. I have tried many different things, but somehow I was lead to the teaching path again and again. I cannot run away from it. This is who I am. This is what I am supposed to do. This is the life I am meant to live!

Just like what Blair Singer said: “You can’t be whoever you want to be. You can be whoever you’re supposed to be”

The biggest lesson that I got from Train the Trainer is that: Live the life you are meant to live. Find you life calling, your life purpose, your life mission. Then do your best to live and serve others according to your life purpose. There may be detours along the journey, but remember to stay true to your heart, heed your life’s calling!

Learn and Grow!

How many of you have discovered your life callings? How many of you are unsure about your life callings?

I have a powerful tool that can help you to find your life calling in less than 30 minutes. If you are interested, please contact me or leave a comment and I’ll help you.

The Real Cause of My Repetition-Make-Me-Want-to-Pee Problem

2009-01-14T08:01:00.001+07:00

Last week, I read a blog post about learning one new skill every year by giving yourself a full year to learn and master a new skill. I was inspired and I decided to learn how to play guitar this year.

Learning from Past Experience

I remember when I was a kid, my mom wanted me to learn to play organ. I did not like it at all. Whenever the teacher came to our house to teach, I pretended to sleep. There was one time that I said to her I was sleepy and I slept on top of the organ. Finally my mom and my teacher gave up and I stopped learning.

What I did not tell them was the reason why I did not want to learn anymore. The teacher told me to learn a song called “Bunga Matahari” (Sunflower). I did not like that song at all, I also found it too hard. The teacher forced me to play that song over and over again during a one-hour lesson. Then she told me to practice that song for one week and we’d play it again in the next lesson. That was when I decided to quit. I just did not want to play that song.

When my mother tried to make me learn again by getting a new teacher, I still did not want to learn. Frankly, in my heart I liked the new teacher, but somehow I was to stubborn to admit that I like learning from her. I stood my ground saying that I simply hate playing organ to hide the real reason that I actually did not like the teaching method of the first teacher. I made it impossible for the second teacher to teach me, and it was all because of my pride. Now I can see how this incident keeps repeating itself throughout my life. I’ve let my pride holding me back from learning and growing. (I’ll write more about this later)

It has been 25 years since that incident. I have not told anybody about it. When I wrote this post, I just realized something very important. This incident of playing that song over and over again might be the incident that caused me to hate repetition and make me want to pee whenever I have to do something over and over again. Even writing this post and remembering the incident, I feel that I need to go to the toilet. (In 15 minutes I went three times already). HAHAHAHA Finally after 25 years, I found the real cause of my repetition-make-me-want-to-pee problem!

This repetition-make-me-want-to-pee problem has made me feel very uncomfortable when I have to do things that require repetition. For example, when I was learning Chinese language in Beijing, my teacher often gave me a homework to write each character that we learned that day at least 10 times. It felt like a torture to me because to complete that homework, I had to go to the bathroom countless times. Sometimes it hurt because there was no water left yet I still felt the sensation. (I am sure you know how it feels)

I am so glad that by writing this post, I finally uncover the cause of my problem. It may seem silly to you but it is a profound AHA moment for me.

Learn and Grow!

Bike on Motorbike – Dangerous!

2009-01-13T13:24:00.001+07:00

Buying a bicycle and bringing it home on a motorbike is certainly unsafe and dangerous. I’ve seen a few people did it, including one of our staff, SG. Unfortunately it did not end well with her. She ended up having an accident, suffered some injuries and the bike that she bought was damaged. Just because she wanted to save Rp. 25,000 of delivery cost, she eventually paid a lot more.

Lessons:

Safety first when you are on the road
It is better to pay a small amount of money rather than endangering yourself and others

Learn and Grow!

What Do You Want?

2009-01-08T08:57:00.001+07:00

What do you want? What do you really, really, really want?

Have you really asked yourself that question?

At the beginning of the year, we often make new year resolutions and set goals about what we want to achieve this year. The first question is usually “What do you want?”

Some of the answers may be:

to lose weight, to achieve my ideal weight
to exercise at least three times a week
to double my income
to make more money
to save at least 30% of my income
to meet my soul mate and start a family
to spend more time with our family
to read at least one book per week
to learn a new skill
to launch a new business or career
to travel the world
to be closer to God
to be more loving, generous and caring
to have more discipline, positive attitude and motivation
etc

If we dig deeper, sometimes those goals are simply means to an end. What we really want is actually the feelings behind accomplishing these goals. For example, if your goal is to make more money, ask yourself this questions:

What does having more money mean to you?
How does having more money make you feel?
How does accomplishing this goal make you feel?

The answers may be:

I have more freedom to do what I want, to have what I want
I feel proud of my achievement and accomplishment
I feel I am worthy and I get more respect from my family, friends, my peers
I feel happier
I feel more secure and safe
etc

These are what we are looking for, feeling good about ourselves, feeling happy, feeling proud and more positive feelings.

The problems start when we are going after these feelings the wrong way. For example, we want to feel the thrill of success but we find it through gambling. When we gamble, we take risk, we feel a sense of excitement. When we win, we feel a huge satisfaction, the thrill of success. When our brain makes the connection – gambling = excitement, satisfaction, we started a journey on the path of destruction.

Sometimes it is not as obvious as gambling in the casino, but it is disguised as ‘investment’. When we invest in the stock market, index, foreign exchange without any knowledge or strategy, it is the same as gambling. We take risk, we feel the excitement. When we win, we feel so good, happy and proud of ourselves.

What if we lose? When we lose, we feel like a failure and we do not want to feel like a failure, so we try again. Sometimes we think this way “Hmm…I am not a quitter, I’ll try again!” It is really a bad example of persistence!

Moreover when we lose, we feel guilty, regret and other negative emotions. We cannot blame anybody else but ourselves because we are the ones who make the decision every single time. There is no one else to blame! If we cannot cope with it, sometimes we start to create problems with people around us. When there is a problem with other people, we have an outlet to release our feelings of guilt, anger, hurt, and regret. We release those feelings full force and ending up hurting people around us.

What do I want? I wish everybody has an outlet to release their negative feelings without hurting other people so that everybody can feel happier. We want to feel happy! I want to feel happy! Do you?

Learn and Grow!

Dark Cherry Mocha

2009-01-04T13:28:00.000+07:00

I had wanted to try Stabucks’ Dark Cherry Mocha since last month. I finally drank it in Starbucks Jogjakarta yesterday. I loved it! It had a rich and full mocha with a hint of cherry as an aftertaste. If you love mocha, you must try it.

Drinking coffee, writing in my new moleskine using my G2 pen…one of the best moment I had this weekend. I wish I have someone special to share this simple yet awesome moment with me.

Enjoy your weekend!

Merapi Volcano and Merbabu Mountain

2009-01-03T08:22:00.001+07:00

I went for a walk this morning and I saw a beautiful scenery of Merapi Volcano and Merbabu Mountain. It reminds of a picture that a lot of Indonesians draw when they are asked to draw a scenery – two mountains in a distance. If you don’t believe me, just ask any Indonesian to draw something, 80% of them will draw something like this:

This is a product of mass education where teachers do not encourage creativity of their students. I am glad to see how more children are encouraged to be more creative now.

Learn and Grow!

Christmas and New Year Gifts

2009-01-02T14:29:00.000+07:00

Did you receive a lot of gifts for Christmas and New Year this year? Did you receive any special gifts?

This year I received a very special New Year gift. It was wrapped in an inspiring and beautiful picture of. The message was very personal and encouraging. When I opened it, my heart leaped with joy and excitement. It is something that I’ve always wanted for years, a moleskine! Yes! I love it! Moreover, this gift was given by someone who’s extremely important in my life. Do you want to have a guess?

Yes…it’s me! This is a gift for myself this year.

(Perhaps at this point, you think that I’ve gone mad or something. Giving a gift to myself, then blogging about it on the internet? Well, hear me out.)

First, I believe that it is essential for me to be my own best friend. I want to be my biggest supporter, encouraging and focusing on what I do well instead of punishing myself for every mistake that I made in the past. As a friend, I want to give the most appropriate gift to do just that. This moleskine will be used as a success journal, the pages will be filled with daily success stories, achievements and positive feelings.

Are you also your own best friend?

Second, I also believe that loving, accepting and appreciating myself are very important for my happiness. I can only give what I already have. When I feel the love, acceptance, appreciation and happiness in my daily life, then I can share these feelings with others. Who can make me happy other than myself?

Do you love, accept and appreciate yourself enough?

Third, I give myself a gift because it was fun!

Don’t you want to have some fun too? Go! Get a gift for yourself and have fun!

Learn and Grow!

Inge Santoso

Happy New Year 2009

2009-01-01T07:58:00.001+07:00

New Year – New Hope, Renewed Faith and Everlasting Love.

A new dawn has come for you and me. Let us make this new year, a year full of love, joy, success, abundance, spirit and blessings.

Be present and embrace life!

Learn and Grow!

Merry Christmas

2008-12-24T17:30:00.001+07:00

Merry Christmas 2008

Wishing You A Joyful Christmas!

Inge Santoso

Photo of the Day

2008-12-07T17:20:00.000+07:00

Girls with painted face getting ready for a Javanese dance held at Solo Square on 7 December 2008.

Boom De Ya Da! Discovery Channel Commercial

2008-12-03T07:48:00.001+07:00

I really love this commercial. The Earth is really an awesome place and we should be grateful that we are here. There are miracles everywhere…sometimes we forget about how awesome, how amazing, how magnificent every little thing really is.

What are you grateful about today? What do you love?

What are you going to sing today? Boom de ya da!

Photo of the Day

2008-11-30T05:44:00.000+07:00

Kid: Concentrate…See, I can do it! (Focus, determination, excitement and a hint of fear)

Mum: Look…no hand! You do it on your own kiddo. (Mixed emotion of fear, pride and excitement)

Photo taken Tea Plantation, Kemuning, Karangpandan.

Writing Journal at Rocketz Cafe - Solo

2008-11-29T13:04:00.001+07:00

Yesterday I went to Rocketz Cafe for dinner. While waiting for the food to arrive, I wrote in my journal about the dining experience there. The atmosphere was great, especially the soothing vocal and jazz music. I had a Red Sunrise drink, an OJ with Geraldine liquor. It was nice but a bit too sweet for my taste. I had Chicken d’Rocketz for dinner. The chicken was delicious. The mash potato had a milky taste so I sprinkled a lot of pepper on it.

Tonight my friends and I will go there again for coffee and snack. I’ll try the pancake tonight.

The Millionaire Mind Intensive in UK

2008-11-28T17:14:00.001+07:00

I’ve been writing about Millionaire Mind Intensive Seminar that was held in Singapore earlier this month. I really learned a lot from this seminar. If you live in UK or Europe, you have a chance to attend this great seminar in London. The seminar will be held on 3rd-5th April 2009 in ExCel London – UK. There is a special rate for applying before 31st December 2008. For more information, you can click here.

Inge Santoso

Decluttering Process

2008-11-26T16:55:00.001+07:00

In the last few days, my sister and I have been decluttering our rooms. We are far from finish but as you can see in the photo, we’ve collected more than 10 boxes already. By this time next week, we will probably have more than 25 boxes ready for the garage sale.

Most of my stuff are electronic gadgets and sport equipments while my sister’s are clothes, hats, belts, handbags, accessories. Looking at our stuff, you can see how different we are.

How does this decluttering process make me feel?

I feel lighter because I have less junk living in my drawers. I do not have that nagging feeling of having to clean up or organize the mess.
I feel productive because I can find things quickly and easily. I know where to find everything because everything has its place.
I feel happy because I found things that I thought I had lost like my awesome Spyderco knife below. This is my favorite when I started collecting knives 10 years ago.
I feel excited because we are going to have an awesome garage sale next week. Not only we’ll get some money from the sale, we will also help the environment by recycling our stuff.
I also feel some regret because I realize that I had bought too many stuff on impulse. If I had only learned money management earlier, I would have been wealthier now. HAHAHA Learning from my past mistakes certainly makes me feel better now.

I will keep you informed on our decluttering process and what we learn.

Learn and Grow!

Simplify Your Life

2008-11-24T16:33:00.001+07:00

After watching an episode on Oprah about hoarders and reading Unclutterer blog, I was inspired to simplify my life. I have so many things that I haven’t used for years. These unused things pile up and waste precious space in my house.

This week, I am going to go through every room and start:

Collecting, put everything out and pile them in the middle of a room
Choosing, choose what I really want to keep. The key is to be ruthless and stick to the vision of what I want for that particular space.
Sorting, the rest is divided into three categories: sell, donate, or throw away. I make sure that I have a rubbish bin to throw things out and boxes for those things I want to donate or sell.
Organizing, put the things that I choose to have and organize them.

I am going to have a garage sale on December 1st 2008. The place will be on Jl. KH Samanhudi 132, Sondakan, Solo.

There are a lot of things available for the garage sale:

Clothes – branded clothes, pants, hats, etc
Bag – handbags, computer bags, school bags, etc
Shoes – dress shoes, sport shoes, sandals, etc
Accessories – jewelry, belts, glasses etc
Perfumes – all sort of perfumes and colognes
Electronic – VCD players, earphones, PDA, cables, chargers, etc
lots more

If you are interested in joining the garage sale, please contact Ms. Sila at +62-271-738820 or +62 888 2933765.

If you want to learn more about simplifying your life, you can go to here:

Learn and Grow!

Being A Good Receiver

2008-11-23T12:16:00.001+07:00

During Millionaire Mind Intensive in Singapore, I learned that to be rich in every area of our lives, we also need to learn to be a good receiver.

I’ve heard the saying “It is better to give than to receive” over and over again for so long, . It is originated from a verse in the Bible “It is more blessed to give than to receive” Acts 20:35 (NIV). I’ve always believed it and I’ve never questioned it before.

Since it is more blessed to give, giving seems to be more superior than receiving, so we strive to give. We tend to look down on receivers and we feel guilty even ashamed when we receive. How can we be rich and wealthy if we feel guilty or ashamed for receiving money, blessing or help from others?

Sometimes when we receive something, we feel obligated to give back even more because we want to be the blessed one. We also want to return the favor as soon as possible so that we do not feel indebted. For example, when we receive a compliment “Wow, you look great”, instead of simply saying “Thank you”, we often return the compliment straight away saying “Hey, you look great too”.

In the seminar, I learned that giving and receiving are two sides of the same coin. A giver needs a receiver and to be a receiver there must be a giver. A giver is not superior and a receiver is not inferior. We must learn to be both a generous giver and an excellent, grateful receiver.

Being a good receiver means that instead of feeling guilty when we receive something, we feel grateful. We let the giver feel the pleasure of giving and be thanked for their generosity. Next time, if someone gives you something, just say thank you gracefully and give thanks to God for the blessings. If you want to return the favor, do it at later time and be a generous giver expecting nothing in return.

Some cautions: since not everybody understands this concept of being a good receiver, you may encounter some awkward moments when you put this into practice. For example, if your spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend says “Darling, I love you” and you simply say “Thank you” without saying “I love you” back…you can be in big trouble HAHAHA. In order to avoid this situation, please ask them to read this blog post :)

Thank you for reading.

Learn and Grow!

PS. Yesterday I received lunch blessing from friends at Atria, so thank you. This morning I received another breakfast blessing from Church friends at Soto Kirana, thank you to both of you. God bless.

Success Journal

2008-11-20T09:47:00.001+07:00

In Millionaire Mind Intensive Seminar, T Harv Eker said that it was important to acknowledge your success. One way to acknowledge your success is by keeping a success journal.

Success journal is a special journal where you write all your successes and achievements. It is recommended to write at least five(5) successes of the day. They can be small things such as putting $1 in Financial Freedom Account Jar, waking up 30 min earlier, or they can be big things such as getting a promotion, winning prizes, and so on.

The most important thing is to keep your focus on success! Success breeds success. Success attracts more success.

The success journal can also help you when the going gets tough. It reminds you of your strength and capability to overcome challenges in your life.

Journal Writing

This is a photo of my recent journals. Those are not moleskine. I wish they are.

I’ve been writing journal or diary since I was 16 years old. I started the habit when my English teacher in Perth, Judy asked me to write a diary everyday and show it to her. This was how I learned English, through writing diary. My first diary:

When I was in Beijing learning Mandarin, I also wrote my journal in Chinese. Writing a journal in Chinese really helped me to increase my vocabulary and memorize those Chinese characters.

Some benefits of journal writing for me:

to record, explore, and clarify my thoughts and feelings,
to write what I have learned from daily experiences,
to help me learn a new language,
to help me release emotional burdens,
to help me remember great moments in my life,
to explore creative ideas,
to weigh alternatives when making an important decision,
and many more

Do you keep a journal? If you do, please share your experience in the comments.

Acknowledge and celebrate your success!

Learn and Grow!

Prosperity Jars – Money Management System

2008-11-18T08:30:00.001+07:00

These are my prosperity jars, a complete set of six jars for money management.

My current money management system:

10% for Financial Freedom Account
10% for Long Term Savings for Spending Account and Debt Repayment
10% for Education Account
50% for Necessities Account
10% for Play Account
10% for Give Account

Each jar also has a corresponding bank account in different banks.

I currently use BCA Bank for Necessities Account because it has the best facilities such as internet banking, mobile banking and ATMs everywhere. It is very convenient that I can do almost everything from home. Since a lot of people have an account in BCA, it is the most widely used to pay other people. The drawback of this account is low interest rate, monthly bank fees of Rp. 10,000 (USD 1) and transfer fee to other bank of at least Rp. 5,000 (USD 0.50) per transaction.

I use Danamon Bank for my Financial Freedom Account (FFA) and Give Account. I use an account called Danamon Lebih that does not charge monthly fees as long as the balance is above Rp. 100,000 (USD 10). I use it to hold daily deposit of FAA until the amount is big enough to be invested in term deposit or other investment instrument. Currently the term deposit rate at Danamon Bank is 10% for 3 month term. The drawback of Danamon Bank is its extremely slow service and limited facilities.

My LTSS Account resides in BII Bank. I am sorry to say that I am quite disappointed with BII because it offers a lot of facilities such as internet banking and mobile banking BUT those facilities simply do NOT work! Until now I have not been able to login to their internet banking site! Why do I still use this for my LTSS account? This account serves me a purpose of discouraging me taking money out of this account.

I locate my Education Account in Mandiri Bank. Mandiri Bank also has a lot of facilities. Some advantages of using Mandiri Bank are: the ability to invest in term deposit account online, cheaper fees to pay bills and credit card balance, cheap and easy access to various mutual funds.

I have my Play Account and some of my Give Account in cash so I can use it anytime.

I also keep updating my money management system so that it is getting better everyday. Next time I’ll share with you some money management software to help you manage your money better.

If you want to learn more about the money management system or some advice on managing your money, please contact me at ingesantoso(at)hotmail.com

Learn and Grow!

Inge Santoso, B. Com

E-Pond and E-Fish at Changi Airport Singapore

2008-11-13T06:33:00.001+07:00

I saw this at Changi Airport Singapore. It was so interesting and fun. I even ran around on the carpet to chase the e-fish HAHAHA

It is amazing to see how far technology has gone. It will continue to move forward at a faster rate. Are we up to it? This generation is demanded to learn more and faster just to keep up. We cannot afford to stop learning and growing.

Learn and Grow!

Wood Block Print – Changi Airport

2008-11-12T11:56:00.001+07:00

While waiting for my flight, I found this wood block print display at Changi Airport. There were several different wood block carvings. You took a piece of paper, put it on top of the wood block carving, then use crayons to rub…voila… wood block print. You can also use different colors to make it more interesting.

Money Management Jars

2008-11-12T06:00:00.000+07:00

In the Millionaire Mind Intensive Seminar, we were taught a simple and effective money management method using six different jars. They are: Financial Freedom Account, Long Term Saving for Spending, Education, Necessities, Play and Give.

Although most of the money is kept in separate bank accounts. The actual jar serve as a visual reminder. The jars enable us to have a physical experience, to see, touch, hear even smell the money.

When we were at the seminar, they sold six-jar-set with labels for S$25. I prefer creating my own customized jars :) Hmm…more beautiful and cheaper too. These amazing jars cost me less than S$10. Awesome!

If you want to learn more about money management, I can help and coach you. You can email me at ingesantoso (at) hotmail.com

Awesome Recycle Bins - Singapore

2008-11-11T21:24:00.002+07:00

I saw these recycle bins this morning at Changi Airport, Singapore. Compare those to the bins that I saw at Singapore Expo below. They are awesome, aren’t they?

The Millionaire Mind Intensive Singapore Day 3

2008-11-10T06:01:00.001+07:00

I took this photo at the end of the course yesterday. When I was going to post this photo, I realized something very important that is really the essence of this training. It is that:

The secret of the millionaire mind is that your inner world creates your outer world.

It is also true for any area of your life that your inner world creates your outer world. What you have right now is the result of your beliefs, thoughts and feelings in the past. If you do not like what you see and you believe that you are capable of so much more, then start working on your inner world (mental, emotional and spiritual).

We often focus too much on changing the results by learning new skills and strategies, but we forget to work on our beliefs and values. It is like treating the symptoms of the disease rather than the cause.

On the other hand, It does not mean that you neglect learning new skills or strategies. There has to be a balance. You must work on both!

If you ask me about this seminar, I can tell you that it is awesome, fun, very useful and practical. In the last three days I had a lot of revelations, AHA moments, emotional release, as well as validations of what I did right. My inner landscape is being revamped and redesigned. I pulled the weeds out and sowed new seeds of success.

Since the method of the seminar is experiential learning, if you want to learn, you really have to experience it yourself. I can tell you what I learn but it will be superficial. You need to experience it to get the learning into your cell.

There will be another Millionaire Mind Intensive course in Singapore and Malaysia next year. If you are interested, I can help and guide you to get into the course. Please email me at: ingesantoso(at)hotmail.com

Learn and Grow!

The Millionaire Mind Intensive Singapore Day 2

2008-11-09T05:46:00.002+07:00

The second day of the seminar is more interesting than the first one. There are more hands-on experience and application of what we have learned.

The most memorable moment for me was when we did a pattern interrupt. I had a negative belief about money that when my parents gave me money, I was going to lose it. Harv Eker asked us to visualize and reflect how these negative beliefs had cost us in life, then intensify the feeling…while we were doing it very seriously, he played a recording of people giggling and laughing. When I heard it, I actually started giggling, I even found it hard to stop laughing because other people also started laughing in waves. I could not hold the image in my mind anymore, the negative pattern was interrupted! Whenever I think about this negative belief, I just start to laugh all over again.

I’ve done pattern interruptions in other seminars before this one. This is by far the most effective!

I felt to so relieved to get rid of this one belief because it has haunted me for years. I used to feel so guilty when I ‘caused’ my parents to lose a large amount money in several investments in the past. I said ‘caused’ because my parents invested the money to help or support me. The ones that hurt the most was the FYI investment. Although they made the decision to invest by themselves, yet I felt guilty because if I were not a factor, then they would not have made that investment. There were other investments that I also felt guilty because I thought I had influenced them to start and I did not try hard enough to stop them when it did not work out. So much guilt and burden to carry around, but yesterday I finally released them. I feel so much lighter afterwards.

I believe that this feeling of guilt has stopped me from taking bigger responsibility and reaching my potential because I was afraid that it would happen again. The mixed emotions of guilt, fear and hurt had confined me in my comfort zone. No more! Now I am free!

Learn from my mistake and grow!
Inge Santoso

The Millionaire Mind Intensive Singapore Day 1

2008-11-08T05:36:00.001+07:00

Yesterday I started to attend T Harv Eker’s seminar The Millionaire Mind Intensive.

What have I learned so far?

I discovered my money blueprint and how it had held me back from achieving success and becoming wealthier
Some negative beliefs that I have about money must be unlearned and replaced with more positive ones
I understand money management better and I know how I can use it to improve my current system
Money attracts money. Start creating your money magnet.
Love and nurture your investment golden goose. Gather and grow your passive business income geese.

Learn and Grow!

Photo of the Day – A Dog and Its Shoes

2008-11-07T04:36:00.001+07:00

When I was walking to the MRT station in Singapore, I saw this dog having a walk. From a distance I could see how the dog walked a bit funny, but when I got closer I was amazed to see that this dog wore shoes! The shoes were like black socks with rubber soles.
I am really curious about these shoes…are they worn for any health reasons or for cuteness sake?

Marché Vivo City Singapore

2008-11-06T09:30:00.000+07:00

One of my favorite eating place in Singapore, Marché Vivo City.

I always have a Caesar salad when I go to Marché because it was the first place that I ever ate a Caesar salad years ago. It is amazing that we often come back to the place that brings us good memories and we want to relive the memorable experience again and again.

This time, I had a new experience with Marché’s Chococino. Chococino is a hot chocolate with espresso. Yummy! You should try it if you go to Marché.

Another reason that I love going to Marché is the atmosphere. It feels like in Europe with lots of bare wood decor, wood tables and benches, and Bavarian style lamp. I also love the fresh vegetables, fruits, other ingredients being beautifully displayed. Awesome!

“This or Something Better” Principle

2008-11-06T07:09:00.001+07:00

Two days ago I went to Running Lab at Funan Digital Mall to find running shoes. The lady who served me there was very helpful and I found the shoes that fit me well. They were Asics Gel Evolution.

When I was going to pay for the shoes, I saw that there was a 20% discount for registered Standard Chartered Marathon 2008 runner. I told her that I was a registered runner and she told me to bring the confirmation slip to get the discount. I saw that there was a notebook computer next to the cash register, I asked whether it was connected to the internet. She said yes. I asked whether I could use it to retrieve the email containing the confirmation slip. She said that they had no printer, so I had to go back and print the slip myself and came back the next day to get the shoes. How inefficient! At the end, I left the store without buying the shoes.

At night I was browsing the internet and I found that Running Lab had another store at Velocity@Novena. I decided to check it out yesterday. I wanted to get a second opinion whether the shoes were really suitable for me. When I got there, the staff were busy helping other customers so I decided to see a New Balance store next door because I was attracted to it.

I told the staff at New Balance store that I was looking for running shoes that accommodate my flat feet. He did a detailed analysis. He asked me to stand and looked at the feet from every angle, then he also asked me to walk on the treadmill to analyze my gait. He also examined my old shoes to see the worn out pattern. He was definitely more thorough than the people at Running Lab. Finally he recommended dark pink New Balance 1224 shoes. When I tried the shoes, they did not fit well because size 8 were a bit too tight while 8.5 were too big. The shoes were also a bit too wide for my feet.

I said to him that I was sorry that the shoes did not fit well and I could not buy from him. He said it was alright and he even took me back to Running Lab. He told the staff at Running Lab the shoes that fit me well as well as the size. Basically he just gave them the prescription for my need. Then he gave me his SAFRA member card number to enable me getting 30% discount on the shoes. Wow…I was so grateful and happy. Thank you for your help, RM!

Finally I bought the same Asics shoes with 30% discount instead of 20% discount!

What can I learn from this experience?

“This or something better” principle. Sometimes when you do not get what you want immediately, there is something better waiting for you,
Trust and follow your instinct, especially when it seems to attract your attention,
Close the sale fast by accommodating the customer’s need. If possible, do not let them walk out the store, ask them to return later.

Learn and Grow!

Photo of the Day

2008-11-05T21:11:00.000+07:00

This afternoon I took this photo in the Velocity@Novena, Singapore. This was the first time in my life that I saw a bird inside a mall. First, I saw it in Burger King and again perching on the 2nd floor railing. I was fortunate to be able take this photo because the bird was not there for a long time.

Back Up Your Data

2008-10-31T11:42:00.001+07:00

Do you routinely back up your computer?

It is extremely important to have a routine back up of your computer. Losing important data such as your emails, contacts, photos, music, etc can be a very painful experience. I’ve had two hard disk failures in the past. I did not have a proper back up when the first failure happened, I felt so much despair losing those data. The second time it happened though, I was ready and restoring the files to a new hard disk was a breeze.

You can either back up to external hard disk, DVD or online back up services such as free Mozy Online. It is also important to have an off-site back up, in case of natural disaster like floods in your area. Remember to encrypt your data when you back up to DVD or external hard disk so that it is safe.

I usually do a weekly back up to an external hard disk, then a monthly back up to DVD and Mozy. I am going to do my back up today because it is the end of the month :)

When you read this post and you have not done any back up, please do it now!

Learn and Grow!

The Placebo Effect

2008-10-30T07:01:00.001+07:00

Faith can heal!

Yesterday someone at the office came to ask for some medicine. She said she had an allergic reaction to salted fish she had eaten during lunch. She said that she could feel heat and redness on her face. She was afraid that it’d spread to her whole body. Since the office did not have those kind of medicines, they had to buy it first.

When I heard her story and I saw that her face was not even that red, I told her that I might have the medicine that she needed. I went to another room and got a sugar tablet out of my mint container. I gave her the tablet and told her to take it with water straight away. I told her that it should work quite fast, and if she was still not well after an hour, then she could take the other medicine.

After an hour or so, other staff at the office told me that she was fine and she did not need to take the medicine. She said that she was feeling well after taking the pill that I gave her.

Hmmm…since she believed that the pill would work, it did! Her faith has healed her.

What a placebo effect!

It does not mean that you should not take your doctor’s advice or prescription, but it shows how faith can help you to heal better.

Learn and Grow!

World Heritage Cities Conference - Parade

2008-10-27T09:15:00.001+07:00

These are some photos from The World Heritage Cities Conference Parade in Solo City, Central Java, Indonesia.

I was waiting on the side of the street since 2PM, the parade passed through at around 3:45PM. There were so many people lining up on the side of the street. Some people were climbing on the pedestrian bridge. I was glad that there was no accident there.

The most amazing thing that happened yesterday was about the weather. Before the parade, the sky was so cloudy. There were black clouds and it even rained for a few minutes. I was worried that it would rain and they’d cancel the parade. The person standing next to me commented that it definitely would not rain. He said that there were lots of shamans working to make sure of it. Sure enough the dark clouds started to move west and there were only thin white overcast above us.

I received a call from my sister who was worried that I’d be drenched by the rain because it was raining so heavily where she was at. She was only about 4 kilometers from where I was. I told her that it was not raining and the parade went smoothly. She also commented that the shamans were powerful in moving the rain to other part of the city.

Believe it or not…

Anyway I had a great time watching the parade.

Learn and Grow!

A New Life Journey for My Dear Sister

2008-10-18T05:33:00.000+07:00

Congratulations to Adi and Imelda!

Your new life has just begun and may your love for each other grows with each passing day.

If you want to see more photos, you can go here.

Blog Action Day - Poverty

2008-10-15T21:18:00.000+07:00

Today is Blog Action Day and the topic this year is about poverty. I am joining other bloggers around the world to write about poverty.

What can I do to help and make a difference?

As a teacher and coach, I usually seize the opportunity to talk about personal finance with my students whenever the opportunity arises. I see a need to teach them about personal finance because:

Almost all of my university students have no clue about managing their finances;
They may have heard about interest, yet they do not know the power of compound interest;
They do not know the danger of consumer debts;
Negative beliefs about money are prevalent. Scarcity mentality can be found everywhere.

I have a 3-hour seminar about personal finance for young executives, students and teenagers. It is called “The Secret to be A Billionaire” (Billionaire is the new standard for wealth here in Indonesia because almost everybody is a millionaire ha ha ha) I use some of the basic principles written in the book “The Automatic Millionaire” by David Bach and combine them with other financial tips from various sources. I talk about savings, basic investment strategies, reducing debts, giving and shifting beliefs about money.

I want to be given the opportunity by various universities and schools in Solo to give this seminar to their students, so I can help and make a difference by equipping the next generation with better financial knowledge and skills. I hope that by learning about personal finance, they can become catalysts for breaking the vicious circle of poverty.

Learn and Grow!

Inge Santoso, B. Com for Blog Action Day 2008

Happy Birthday Grandpa!

2008-10-10T08:41:00.001+07:00

In his 80s, my grandpa is still very healthy, mentally sharp and full of spirit. He is a role model for a fit and healthy body.

Happy Birthday!

A Very Special Moment in Life

2008-10-09T08:06:00.001+07:00

Last night was a moment of great relief and a start on the path of new, higher level of love, happiness and joy. There is a new air of openness, togetherness, love and acceptance.

Recent unfortunate events in our family lives have brought some stress in each of us. The problems came in from different directions affecting several areas of our lives, such as my recent health problem, costly investment in a collapsed MLM business, and a recent hit on our financial portfolio due to the decline in financial market. These problems seemed to have taken toll on our emotional well being. Stress was hanging in the air, yet we were afraid to bring it up because we were afraid that we would open a Pandora box of pent-up negative emotions that we would not be able to handle.

Last night, we finally had our family talk. This family talk is what we’ve been avoiding but also what we’ve been waiting for…what a mixed emotion! What we were afraid of did not happen at all. What we thought of opening a Pandora box of negative emotions turned out to be opening a door to heightened feelings of love, acceptance, forgiveness and freedom. The release of negative feelings such as fear, anger, guilt and hurt brought us feelings of relief, peace and freedom.

Fear not. The truth will set you free!

How do I feel about everybody now?

I am so proud of my dad who has the courage to lead us into having this family talk. By taking the initiative, he has proven himself to be a courageous leader. By talking more openly about his feelings as well as listening to ours, he has shown himself to be a gentle and passionate leader. Finally he leads with his mind and his heart!

I am also proud of my mom who finally lets her feelings out in the open without feelings of fear or guilt of upsetting other members of the family. She has carried her burden so well all these times being the guardian of our emotional well beings. It should not be her responsibility to make us all happy, yet she manages to do it with her big and humble heart. It is time for her to put her burden down and it is time for us to be more responsible for our own feelings. She really is the glue that binds our family together during our emotional turmoil. She always makes herself available to listen and encourage us.

I am very proud of my sister who becomes a great passionate leader herself. She is so mature, independent and courageous. She faces her problems and challenges head-on, solve those problems with decisive actions. She develops her leadership skills combining the best of both worlds – the courage and decisiveness of dad’s and the emphatic heart of mom’s.

Thank you all! I love you all!

Finally, I am proud of myself for being a difference maker. I am an enthusiastic learner who love to share and empower others with what I have learned. I am passionate about personal development and growth. I have a great passion in teaching and I love to see how my students become better people in many areas of their lives. I am most happy and satisfied when I see the twinkle in their eyes when they have an AHA moment…it is like opening a door to unlimited power and endless possibilities.

This blog post is a very special post for me. It is very emotional and personal. I hope you can learn something from this post and it will inspire you.

Feel the freedom!

Feel the love!

Feel the joy and peace!

Learn and Grow!

Inge Santoso, B. Com

What’s in My Backpack?

2008-10-06T09:48:00.001+07:00

Continuing from the previous post, this is my backpack for notebook. The backpack is a Victorinox. I like this backpack because it has side pocket for water bottle unlike my previous backpack.

What’s in the backpack:

Notebook HP Compaq Presarion V3505 with Windows Vista.
Notebook charger and adaptor
Logitech mouse – I don’t like using track pad
Mouse pad – it’s thin, flexible and can be used as wipe too
Toshiba Flash Disk 2GB
PDA HP iPaq 2210 mainly for playing games and reading e-book
3G Modem – USB / Express Card (currently being borrowed)
Wallet for various membership cards
Pen and mechanical pencil
Tissue and other personal stuff.

If I bring only one bag, then I’ll put my wallet, mobiles, iPod and camera in the backpack.

What’s in Your Bag – Flickr Group

2008-10-05T16:20:00.000+07:00

Yesterday I added this photo to What’s in Your Bag Flickr Group. These are the basic things that I bring everyday. I also bring my Canon G9 (it is not in the photo because I use it to take this photo HAHAHA)

What’s in my Elle bag:

Red Louis Vuitton wallet that I received for my birthday present in year 2000. In the eight years, I only use it for special occasion. I started to use it as everyday wallet only this year.
Three mobiles – Nokia 6230i, Nokia E51, Nokia 2505 CDMA. I use the Nokia 6230i for my personal number , Nokia E51 for work, IM and internet, Nokia 2505 for cheap CDMA calls.
Calling cards – it is used for coaching to help my clients find their life calling and align it with their jobs.
PDA HP iPaq 4700. It is for PIM (personal info management), bible, e-books, and play games.
iPod Nano 1st generation with Razer in-ear earphone for listening to music, audio book or recorded lectures.
Timberland journal cover for my daily journal. It is the best! I haven’t found anything more useful than this one.
Pilot G-2 0.5 pen and Faber Castell 2B pencil with sharpener cap and eraser. The sharpener cap is just perfect because not only it prevents the pencil from marking everything else, it is a very compact sharpener.
Brown moleskine wannabe for sketching and free drawing.
Mint and lipstick
Canon G9 camera

What’s in my tutoring bag:

Esprit bag – it’s more than 5 years old. It is a bit tattered but it is the perfect size for my tutoring gears.
Small whiteboard and eraser
Blue pencil case for my markers and pens
Whiteboard markers, red pens, black pens and a pencil
Attendance card for each student. It is very important to keep track because some of them do not have tutoring every week.
Chinese-English, English-Chinese dictionary – my trusted companion. I bought it in Beijing in 1998 – 10 years already!
Graph paper notebook for lesson plan
Chinese stroke chart for teaching
Appropriate textbooks for different students

Do you find this interesting? If you are interested to see what others have in their bags, go to What's in your bag? Flickr Group.

Learn and Grow!

Color of Life

2008-10-04T16:07:00.001+07:00

One of the best photo I took in Tawangmangu this week.

Life is beautiful!

Fire Hazard

2008-10-03T07:10:00.001+07:00

Panoramic photo of the remnant after the fire on the empty lot near our house. We were not home when it happened two days ago. I heard the fire was big and it took three fire trucks to put out the fire.

An abandoned empty lot with lots of dry grass and bushes in searing summer heat has a high risk of fire. We do not know the cause of the fire, but it could be from many things such as cigarette butts, firecrackers, or trash burning. This morning I still saw two people burning their trash there.

I heard that the residents wanted to take a class action against the owner of the property for being negligence and endangering the neighbors.

Inge Santoso

Coffee Art

2008-09-30T06:32:00.001+07:00

A spark of creativity that influences others.

A few days ago, I saw on Channel News Asia that a Singaporean artist used instant coffee to paint. Her paintings are awesome. I decided to try and that was one of the paintings that I did yesterday. Do you know that you can still smell the aroma of coffee?

Learn and Grow!

Journal Cover

2008-09-28T08:50:00.003+07:00

This is my latest journal cover. I created the cover using the tool at Wanokoto website. It turns your photo into old-newspaper-looking photo. I use a wide elastic band to hold the book close, just like a moleskine.

Although I want a moleskine but it is so expensive here in Indonesia, around USD 25 each. Moleskine is like the Mercedes Benz of notebook while mine is like a Honda City that cost me less than USD 3. Although it is not a moleskine, it serves its purpose well.

Sometimes I wonder if I have a moleskine, would I write as freely as I do now? Would I treasure is so much until I dare not write in it?

Perhaps I am not ready for a moleskine yet. I am sure that the time will come when I am going to write in a moleskin.

Long Kite and Success Principle

2008-09-22T07:35:00.001+07:00

Yesterday near my house, I saw some people flying a very long kite. It was amazing. The tail was about 60-70 meters long. It needed at least 6 people to fly it. These people travel from town to town to compete in kite flying competition. The biggest competition is in Bali where they fly huge kites at the beach where the wind is strongest.

We can learn a very important success principle from flying a kite. It is the principle of rising in the face of adversity. The stronger the wind, the higher the kite will fly.

In life, we often avoid or run from adversity because we see it as an obstacle that prevents us from getting what we want in life. We see adversity as a problem that makes things difficult for us.

Rising in the face of adversity challenges us to think differently. We see adversity as something that makes us stronger and better. It is the fire that forges the iron. Adversity also acts as a filter to let people who are really determined to succeed to rise above others. If we truly want to succeed, we should be grateful for adversity because it makes us sharper and it reduces competition. :)

Rise and Fly High!

Learn and Grow!

Rascal

2008-09-14T08:38:00.001+07:00

Rascal is a very smart and cute dog. I really enjoy his company while recovering from my surgery in Singapore. He followed me everywhere. When I was resting in my room, he also slept next to the bed. When I went to the bathroom, he waited in front of the bathroom door.

The funniest thing was when I was wearing particular track pants, he thought my pants were a female dog and he really went for it. Perhaps my pants had scents from our dogs in Solo. HAHAHA I had a video of it (censor needed for those under 18 years old)

Dogs are people best friends. No wonder there are so many recommendations to have a pet to relieve stress and depression. They can be so loving, accepting and devoted to you.

Lesson: Have a pet and learn about love :)

Learn and Grow!

My Hospital Stay

2008-09-12T14:42:00.001+07:00

I am sorry that I have not written a lot lately because I had a minor surgery last week.

That is the photo of my hand when I was in hospital last week. The IV drip was so cool. When the IV bag is almost empty, the alarm sounds beep beep beep and the nurse will come in just a few minutes. If the nurse wants to inject something straight to my blood stream, just open the blue cap and shoot.

This is the photo of hospital bed that I stayed for two nights. The bed can be adjusted in so many ways, up and down, head up head down, leg up leg down, etc. I actually played with it a bit before the surgery. HAHAHA

The blue color thing on the bed is the hospital gown. It was not as bad as I thought it would. Well, at least it covered my back completely, unlike in movies where they can see your backside.

This is my first stay in hospital and I hope it’s the last time too.

What did I learn ?

Health care is extremely expensive! Get a health insurance!
No matter how good the hospital and its facilities, it is still a hospital! It’s NOT a hotel!

Learn and Grow!

For Your Amusement – Futile Hand Washing

2008-09-01T21:51:00.001+07:00

A few days ago I had an injection on my left hand while getting an MRI. There was only a small puncture hole and I didn’t notice any bruises. It was good because I often got bruises when they took my blood in the past.

This evening before dinner while I was washing my hand, I noticed some dirt on my left hand, so I washed, I scrubbed and scrubbed, but it did not come off. It was only after awhile that I realized that it was not dirt nor stain, but it was a bruise from the needle puncture. HAHAHA No wonder I could not clean it!

Even if I had followed the instruction on how to wash my hand properly, I would not have succeeded HAHAHAHA

Smile…Laugh…Be Happy!

Learn and Grow!

My Lucky Sweater

2008-08-29T17:42:00.000+07:00

While clearing old clothes for donation, I found this Popeye family sweater. It used to be my favorite sweater when I was in University. I considered it my lucky sweater and I always wore it during exams. I believed that wearing it would get me good marks. HAHAHA.

I also used to have a lucky bath towel that I used during exam week. I remember, one day my sister used that towel and then washed it during an exam week and I was so mad because of it. She tried to apologize by singing “Please forgive me for washing your kelincimu” (my towel has a picture of rabbit on it).

Although I knew that wearing the sweater and towel would not do me any good if I didn’t study for the exam, they helped me to create a favorable state of mind. Believing that I was lucky was more important than the sweater or the towel itself. It’s the belief that creates the reality.

What do you believe? How do your beliefs shape your reality right now?

"Whether you believe you can, or you can't, you are right" - Henry Ford

Learn and Grow!

To Go or Not To Go, To Do or Not To Do, To Be or Not to Be

2008-08-25T14:03:00.000+07:00

When I was in Jakarta last week, I saw this traffic light. The red light and the green light are on at the same time. What would you do if something like that happens? My friend and I decided to see what other people were doing, and followed the crowd.

This small incident makes me think about decision making in life. How often do you follow the crowd instead of making your own decision? When you are faced with a choice, or even a dilemma, do you make your own choice or do you just follow what most people do?

Sometimes we are afraid to make mistake and to face the consequences of our mistake. We want to minimize the risk by following conventional wisdom or following the wisdom of the crowd. Although we know that the crowd is not always right, we often take the easy way instead of the right way. It seems that making a mistake on our own feels worse than making mistake together.

I remember an incident when I was still in primary school. When we forgot to bring our notes or textbook, the teachers often punished us together. I was nervous, afraid of being punished when I forgot my book, especially when I was the only one who didn’t bring it. When I knew there were other students, I felt relieved. Sometimes I even felt happy because we would be “punished” (ehem having fun outside the classroom) together.

I believe this world needs more people who make decision by themselves and not just follow the crowd. The greatest invention, discovery and legend is made by people who are not afraid to stand alone, to blaze a new trail and to do the right thing in spite of all opposition. I want to be one…Do you?

To be or not to be? It is your decision.

To do or not to do? Weigh the alternatives and make your decision!

Learn and Grow!

Photo – Antique Dentist Chair & Equipment

2008-08-14T15:34:00.000+07:00

My cousins and I went to my grandfather sister-in-law’s house to visit. Her late husband used to be a famous dentist in Solo. This is a photo of his dentist chair and equipment. It’s an antique.

Comparing this antique dentist equipment and the latest in its field, we can really see how far the technology has evolved. Amazing!

Learn and Grow!

Candi Sukuh (Sukuh Temple), Central Java, Indonesia

2008-08-13T14:29:00.000+07:00

This is Candi Sukuh at dusk.

The main temple area of Candi Sukuh

The relief at Candi Sukuh

I visited Candi Sukuh or Sukuh Temple with my cousins who came to visit Indonesia. Candi Sukuh is located near Tawangmangu, a mountain resort in Central Java, Indonesia.

The first time I visited Candi Sukuh was when I was in primary school. My parents took me there when they used to bike a lot. I didn’t remember much about the temple because I was more interested in the surrounding scenery that was so beautiful.

This time while visiting with my cousins, we had a guide to help us understand more about the temple. It is very interesting because this temple has lots of sexual references but they are disguised by symbols. There is another temple in the area called Candi Cetho where the sexual references are displayed in full.

If you want to know more about it, please come and visit these two temples. Please get a guide to learn more about the site.

Learn and Grow!

What Is Your Spending Weakness?

2008-08-08T10:24:00.001+07:00

What is your spending weakness? For me, it is books. I usually find it hard to go into a bookstore without buying a book. I have two rooms just to keep my book collection. The bookcases that you see above are already full although I have already arranged two rows of books per rack.

I realize that I splurge on books and sometimes I buy because I am afraid that I will not be able to find it again when I need it. Now I do not worry so much because of Amazon.

In the last few months, I’ve cut back my spending on books and I only buy books that I really want to read straight away. I also start to read those books that I have bought but not read yet.

I think we all have our own spending weakness. As you can see in the photo below, my sister’s weakness is clothes.

Some other things that I can think of:

DVDs, CDs
Soft toys
Shoes, bags, accessories
Fridge magnets and other souvenirs

What about you?

Learn and Grow!

Be Optimistic and Be Prepared

2008-08-04T17:49:00.001+07:00

During my junior high school’s reunion, Alfa and I were in charge of making the audio visual of the SMP PL Bintang Laut 50-year history and had it up and running on the giant screen. We have prepared a power point presentation with animation and music. I even rendered the power point presentation into MPEG and AVI because I didn’t know whose computer would be used to play the video clip.

It took me days to prepare the power point presentation. It was not as easy as I thought because I needed to choose the right soundtrack and made sure that the length and timing were perfect. Since I used power point instead of movie maker, I had to preview the slide presentation from the beginning not just from current slide to make sure that the soundtrack matched the slide transition. Rendering into MPEG also took around 10-15 minutes and sometimes I had to do it three or four times until I got it right.

On the first day of reunion, there was supposed to be a teleconference after the video clip. The person in charge of the teleconference said that he was ready and he has tried it in the morning. Since he said that he was ready for teleconference, I assumed the computer would be ready and I could use the computer to play the audio visual.

At noon while I was perfecting the audio visual, I decided to burn the movie into playable DVD. I just wanted to be prepared if anything unexpected happened.

When I arrived there in the afternoon, I found that the cable for the LCD projector was RCA cable and not VGA. If I wanted to use VGA cable, there was no sound cable near the projector. It was a dilemma, picture without sound or sound without picture. Fortunately the person in charge of the video brought a DVD player and the plug for RCA cable, I also had burned the video clip into playable DVD, so at the end the show was a success.

What did I learn from this experience?

Be positive and optimistic, but be prepared for any eventualities.
Always have a back up plan
Do not assume anything – especially if the person in charge is not reliable nor responsible
Coordination is very important to make an event successful

Learn and Grow!

SMP PL Bintang Laut 50th Anniversary Reunion

2008-08-04T09:08:00.001+07:00

This is the multimedia presentation that Alfa and I made to be shown at my junior high school’s reunion. It is less than 10 minutes, but it took us more than three days to make this. I am proud of myself being able to whip up something like this because I’ve stretched myself both intellectually and emotionally doing it. I am also glad that the reunion was successful and I could contribute to it.

My Personal Time

2008-07-26T08:39:00.001+07:00

Yesterday afternoon I went to Excelso, Solo Square to read “Harmonic Wealth” by James Arthur Ray and to write in my journal. It was awesome. I totally enjoyed myself. I was sitting outside, sipping coffee, enjoying the sunset colored sky and watching people that came to the mall.

It is personal time at its best for me. Read a good book, write my thoughts and have a cup of mocha coffee…hmm perfect!

Do you have a personal time? What do you usually do?

Learn and Grow!

My First Experience as Member of an Examination Panel

2008-07-22T21:07:00.001+07:00

This morning I had a very interesting experience as a member of examination panel in Sebelas Maret University, Solo.

Frankly, this is my first time and I have no experience whatsoever in this matter. I have never written a thesis before because I did not need to write one to graduate. I only needed to get good examination marks to graduate and I could get my Bachelor of Commerce degree from University of Western Australia.

I have never had the experience of having my thesis scrutinized and asked so many questions about what I had written, yet today I was on the other end of the table, scrutinizing and asking questions about what my student had written. I did not ask too many questions because I did not know what kind of questions are usually asked in this situation. I also do not have the heart to ask questions that are too hard or difficult because I personally know how hard he has worked on his thesis. The other member of the panel however, they really dug deep and asked hard and challenging questions. I learned a lot about what I need to do and I am sure that I will do better next time.

What have I learned from this experience?

Learn to ask better questions
Stretch my comfort zone doing something for the first time

Learn and Grow!

Look…What is going on down there?

2008-07-21T05:09:00.000+07:00

THE CURIOUS DOGS

This photo was taken in Jakarta on 13th July 2008.

Financial Advice and Insight From Suze Orman

2008-07-18T16:36:00.001+07:00

Yesterday I watched in Oprah about a family in a brink of bankruptcy because the wife is a shopaholic. The husband didn’t know that they were in so much debt because she hid the transactions from her husband. All the credit cards were maxed out, the total debt was around USD 640,000.

Suze Orman advised the family to move from California to Seattle, Washington to start a new life. She told the wife to work at Starbucks because after three months, she’d get a health insurance for her whole family and she could drink latte too (she usually spends USD300-400 per month for latte). The husband could also get higher take-home pay because there was no income tax in Seattle, Washington.

Suze Orman said “We spend money that we don’t have, to impress people that we do not know or people that we do not like”

It is so true how nowadays we try so hard to look rich, to impress people with what we have. We define ourselves from what others see instead of how we truly see ourselves. By giving other people the power to define who we are, we have lost the power to be who we are destined to be.

Suze Orman also gave an advice about three questions that we have to ask before spending any money:

Is it kind?
Is it necessary?
Is it true?

We only spend money if the answers to these three questions are all YES. Otherwise we do not spend the money.

We really need to learn and increase our financial IQ so that we can make better decision when it comes to money.

Learn and Grow!

Airport Check-In Jam

2008-07-16T07:46:00.001+07:00

Yesterday my flight to Solo was at 6.05AM. I arrived at the airport at 4.50AM. It was more than 1 hour before take off. I thought there would be enough time to relax and drink cappuccino in airport lounge. WRONG!

When I arrived at the airport and walked to the door leading to check in area, there was a very long queue. There was only one door open serving so many passengers. The queue was more than 10 meters long snaking on both side of the door. I was queuing for more than 15 minutes there before being able to get in into check in area.

When I got into the check in area, I immediately raced to Garuda Frequent Flyer counter for Platinum and Gold Card. There were about eight people queuing in front of me. The first person checked in swiftly, but the second one took ages. Apparently she had upgrades, overweight luggage and she didn’t have enough cash with her so she needed to get her husband to get cash.

There were still three people in front of me when they announced that my flight was boarding. I immediately cut in line and asked the person to let me check in first because my flight was boarding. Fortunately these guys were very understanding and they let me check in first.

Once I got my boarding pass, I ran all the way to the boarding gate. Whew…early morning exercise done!

Lessons: Arrive at least 2 hours before take off!

Learn and Grow!

I am sorry, I don’t know how to turn it off

2008-07-15T11:47:00.001+07:00

This morning on my Garuda Indonesia flight from Jakarta to Solo, I saw something very amusing.

At first, I was quite annoyed to see the lady sitting in front of me was still using her mobile phone to call while she was already on the plane. Then I heard the announcement to turn off any mobile phones and the stewardess started walking up and down to aisle to check. The stewardess finally came and asked the lady to stop calling and turn her mobile phone off.

Stewardess: “Please stop calling now and please turn off your mobile phone, madam.”

Lady: “I am sorry, I don’t know how to turn it off. I’ve never turned my mobile phone off since I bought it.”

Then she gave her Nokia 5310 to the stewardess and asked her to help turning the phone off. The stewardess was very patient, kind and understanding. She even taught her how to turn it on again after the plane landed.

When I heard that the lady could not turn her mobile phone off, I don’t whether to laugh or to pity her. Sometimes people just buy gadgets that’s way beyond their knowledge and skill to use.

These days many people buy gadgets because of trends and good looks instead of functions. It is simply a race to own the latest gadget to show off and get other people’s attention. In the past, I often made the same mistake of racing to own the latest, fastest, meanest gadget, but now I know better. I am still tempted to get the latest gizmos, but I’ve learned to control my urge and wait for a while. Fortunately I have some friends who remind me whenever my eyes turn green seeing the latest gadget hahaha.

Lesson: Learn to use your gadget more effectively. At least learn to turn it on and off :)

Learn and Grow

Enthusiasm Attracts

2008-07-13T08:28:00.001+07:00

Yesterday my friends and I went to i-Tutor.net to check out their franchise opportunity. We went there with lots of enthusiasm and spirit. As accounting & finance people, we are very serious about the business aspect of the franchise, yet we can have fun with the evaluation process.

We were so full of enthusiasm during the presentation that we joked a lot, laughed out loud and just had lots of fun. We definitely made lots of noises because many of their staff commented, “So these are the prospects who were so loud and enthusiastic?” They have never had a prospect like us before. HAHAHA

Enthusiasm attracts attention!

We could see and feel how our enthusiasm affected others. The marketing executive who did the presentation became enthusiastic, as well as a few others who came into contact with us.

Enthusiasm attracts more enthusiasm! Enthusiasm is contagious!

Learn and grow!

Inge Santoso

Motivation – Avoiding Pain

2008-07-10T08:44:00.001+07:00

I have had some pain under my second toe since Monday. It was quite painful to walk. I had to wear loose footwear because there was swelling too. I was quite worried because I have never experienced such pain before.I had suspected high level uric acid because I have not eaten well, especially last week.

Yesterday, I decided to get a blood test because I wanted to make sure. I’ve been putting off getting a blood test because I was afraid to see the result. This time, the pain is greater than my fear, so I chose the alternative that give me less pain, getting a blood check. (The basic of human motivation to avoid pain is really a great motivational force)

I was feeling anxious the whole day because I was afraid to see the blood test result. Finally when I got home last night, I opened the test result. You know what…Everything was good! I felt so relieved and grateful!

What do I learn from this?

First, my health is extremely important!

I confessed that I have not taken care of my body. It is this pain that makes me realize how uncomfortable, painful, inconvenient, difficult, stressful, irritating, shameful and expensive for not having a healthy body. PAIN, PAIN, PAIN! Why do we often have to feel the pain before realizing how important and valuable something is?

Second, my motivation to avoid pain is stronger than my motivation to seek pleasure.

Until now, I have been trying to deceive myself by pretending to be a pleasure seeker because I thought it was better. Now I realize it is not about better or worse, but it is about what works for me. I am going to use both pain and pleasure, but I will make sure that there is enough painful reasons to propel me forward.

Learn and Grow!

One of My Favorite Series

2008-07-06T08:20:00.001+07:00

Yesterday I found one of my favorite series – She Tiao Ying Xiong (Sia Tiau Eng Hiong) in DVD format. I was so happy to finally found it because I’ve been looking for it for years. Although it is a bit expensive, but it is definitely worth it.

Although there are many re-make of this series, with better sound effect, younger stars, but I simply love the original. I don’t know how to describe the feeling but I am sure that classic movie lover out there will understand the feeling. I think it is because the images and sounds just bring me back the treasured memories of my younger days.

I remember the first time I watched it was when I was in primary school, about 20 years ago. My friends and I usually watched together after renting it from our local video store. The format back then was still Betamax video tape (ancient…ancient…HAHAHA). We would sit in front the TV watching it with full concentration. Sometimes we didn’t hear our parents’ calling us because we were so engrossed in it. After watching, we usually played and acted out the characters…it was our favorite game.

When I think about it, playing pretend-to-be is really beneficial. It exercises our imagination and it develops the skill of modeling. Nowadays, mostly during NLP training, we are taught about modeling success, act as-if…the same skills as what we have naturally when we were young, just more directed and focused. It’s like re-learning what we used to do naturally when we were young, and I wonder why we are willing to pay so much money for the training HAHAHAHA

Advice for parents, let your children play pretend-to-be as long as they want, just direct them to play more positive characters.

Learn and Grow!

The Journey from Solo to Jakarta

2008-07-05T08:39:00.001+07:00

The journey from Solo to Jakarta was completed in 13 hours including a lunch break in Pekalongan. We left Solo at 7AM and arrived in Jakarta at 8PM.

The road from Solo to Jakarta was not as bad as I thought. There was basically no traffic jam other than the road from Cikampek to Jakarta. The road was also quite busy from Solo to Semarang, but only because it was peak office hour.

It was a pleasant journey. My friend and I had a good time sharing stories…getting to know each other a lot better.

I also enjoyed the scenery, especially when I saw the shore of Java Sea coming into sight. For the most of the journey, it was green farm lands on both sides of the road. Indonesia is actually really beautiful and I wonder why people do not appreciate it more.

I would like to have another road trip and next time I will take the time to stop and take photos for these beautiful scenery.

Learn and Grow!

PS. Thank you to our driver, Mr. Sutiman who has made the trip a safe and pleasant journey.

Pay It Forward

2008-07-03T08:01:00.001+07:00

Have you ever watched the movie “Pay It Forward”? This is the review from Amazon.com

Pay It Forward is a multi-level marketing scheme of the heart. Beginning as a seventh-grade class assignment to put into action an idea that could change the world, young Trevor McKinney (Haley Joel Osment) comes up with a plan to do good deeds for three people who then by way of payment each must do good turns for three other people. These nine people also must pay it forward and so on, ad infinitum. If successful, the resulting network of do-gooders ought to comprise the entire world. Trevor's attempts to get the ball rolling include befriending a junkie (James Caviezel) and trying to set up his recovering-alcoholic mother (Helen Hunt) with his burn-victim teacher (Kevin Spacey), who posed the assignment.

Basically the concept is when you do something good for others, you do not ask for something in return, but you ask them to do something good for other people. Hopefully they will continue to pay it forward and making a lot of differences in people lives.

Yesterday I experienced this pay-it-forward principle first hand. When I was eating at Nini Thowong in Solo, I met my dad’s friends there. Then there was someone who took the initiative to pay for my dad’s friends’ meals, and in turn they paid for my meal. The baton of pay-it-forward has been passed to me…Now I am looking forward to an opportunity to pass it on.

If you read this post, I’d like to ask you to take the initiative to start this pay-it-forward action today. It is really a small thing that make a big difference.

What will you do today to start this movement going?

Learn and Grow!

Inge Santoso